Motherly Instinct

Morning ppl!!! (Although I am sure most of you would not be reading this in the morning) Our trip up north was fantastic. Maybe not to the rest of the troop but it was to me. Hehe. Well, the trip didn't quite turn out as planned. When we arrived, we were told that Azmir and Mimi were not on the guest list. Even after the staff arrived and managed to find a place for both of them, all 4 of us were placed in different rooms! So much for a romantic getaway. Since it was already late and Azmir really wanted to meet the DJ and join the event, we stayed for prayers and dinner before we head out to find a place to stay. Initially went to Marina (thanks Sarr for suggesting the place) but ended up with a room in Teluk Batik Resort instead since Marina was left with only a one-bedroom-apartment or a 3-bedroom-apartment.

The place was so so but it was enough for us to just sleep and rest. On the way back, we actually went to Kellie's castle (cuti2 Malaysia la katekan) and detoured to Cameron Highlands. Each of us had a cup of tea or two at Boh Plantations. The scenery was breath taking (really?). Hehe. Pictures are with Mimi since my camera decided to take time off during this whole trip.

Anyway, while on the way to Damai Laut, we obviously chit-chatted about everything under the sun. Then, I brought up the baby issue. Everyone around me is having or looking forward to having a baby but I just don't feel ready yet. Mimi shared her boss' advice with me, which I will share with you guys here today. (I hope she doesn't mind.) Her boss told her, "There is never a "right" time to have a baby". True enough now you are working to establish your career but when you are more established, your responsibility will get bigger and it will make it harder for you to have more time for yourself and family. So when you want to have one, just go for it and learn to make your time around it. Okay. Something like that. Somehow or rather the message gets to me... I find the statement enlightening.

On top of that, I do think my job now is somewhat permitting me to have more time for myself. I am not saying I am working government hours now but it is much better here from another deparment I was with. Then comes the next question, how can I think to have a baby NOW when I have made plans with other ppl to have baby next year. Haha. Okay. That is silly. That should be the least of my concern. However, to my surprise, one of my best friends, whom I made a pledge with to get pregnant next year together, told me last night, that they (she and hubby) are leaving it to fate instead of planning... which means she is ditching the plan before me already. Hmm. Should I?

I don't quite fancy children and do not find them that much adorable especially when they are crying or acting out. But when hubby is constantly amazed by his niece's and nephew's progress, when he kept repeating and imitating what the kids say, I must admit that I somehow feel a tiny pinch of jealousy that he is excited to follow the growth of someone's else child instead of his own (of course he can't coz we don't have one yet!). I guess I am feeling that coz it feels like he won't be as excited as he is now, with his own child's growth when we have one, coz it won't be the first time he sees all these things later.

But when I ask him yesterday... his concerns now are economic stability (hmm, not my VERY main concern) and commitment (to the baby) as in no more "us" time and impromptu romantic getaway. Hmm, didn't quite expect that from him so case closed.

Anwar's Court Case

It's heating up in Malaysia now with Anwar's sodomy case being on trial. I don't know who to believe as clearly both of them (Anwar and his ex-aide) are giving completely opposite statements so obviously one of them is lying. Whatever it is, I hope the truth with prevail. Ameen.

p/s: I'm not a fan of Anwar but if he is really innocent, I do pray his name will be cleared off after this trial. But if he's not, may Allah guide him towards the right direction. Wallahualam.

Officially moved to Bangi

Hi, everyone. I was too lazy to post any update before but I feel the need to write today. (Dunno where all my friends are... everyone's busy so I guess I just have to tell my story here.) I am now officially living in Bangi. My main residence is now there (I'm in office now =p), rather than KL, although I told my mom to not do anything to my room and just leave it as it is. Though I know I should feel excited about it, moving on with life and moving in with hubby, I must admit I was rather sad to leave KL. This is the place where I grow up, the place I really feel comfortable, the place where I belong. As "prepared" as I was before moving, giving myself about a month or so to furnish the house and accept the reality, when the time came, when it actually hit me, it still hurt. I guess I didn't expect it to come this soon... I thought the earliest for us to move in together would be in at least 2 years time, when both are ready to settle down and live as a family, have kids and what nots. Not that I am not ready to get married. For heaven's sake I wanted to get married ever since I got together with this guy. I was just not prepared to the conventional way of married life. But don't get me wrong. I love my hubby with all my heart... and that is the reason I am willing to push the moving in date wayyy forward than what I planned. But I also cannot deny the sadness I'm feeling. And I also know that I will get over it.

The first week of adjusting was extra hard. I was stressed out, turned quiet and sometimes cried... especially when I was left alone, especially when I can't just call any of my friends to hang out with me while waiting for hubby to come home. But I was lucky enough, hubby and mummy and family were all patient enough to accommodate me. They stuck by me facing my own fear. For that, I am very grateful.

The days after was uneventful until yesterday when I had a terrible experience with traffic. Left home slightly late for work and was stuck in jam for more than an hour!!! (When it should just take me half an hour.) =_= Hohoo... Was pretty frustrated and tired from that experience and vowed to never leave home later than 7 again! So new resolution> Need to leave home extra early... Moreover, last night my Touch N Go was left with 60 sens (which is not sufficient for one journey) so I either need to reload or queue up to pay the toll. Hubby, wanting to leave early for work too, purposely blocked my car so that I HAVE TO wake him up before I go to work. So today, I woke up at 5.30, took my shower, did my prayers and waited... Did some cleaning in the kitchen, refilled ice-cube compartment and waited some more. I was waiting to wake hubby up coz I know he slept later than me. I didn't want to wake him too early but at the same time, I didn't want to be late for work. Was tempted to even do laundry just now but didn't think I would have enough time. At 6.30 sharp, I turned on the light and forced hubby out of bed. We managed to leave home ard 6.45. I had to stop at 2 petrol stations to reload my Touch N Go (the first one ran out of credit), then at another to pee (couldn't hold it any longer) and at another one to deposit money into the Cash Deposit Machine. So practically petrol stations are not just to fill in petrol for me. They are my everything... reloading agent, toilet and bank!!! hehe... Anyway, arrived office just on time... (was not even early) but was satisfied enough with traffic. (No more petrol sucking, leg numbing, an hour long jammm)

This weekend, we are heading up to Damai Laut with Azmir and Mimi. Hope that will take my mind off the frustrating things and move on with exciting new future. Till then, tadaaa

Happy New Year, ppl!

Hi! Hi! Hi! I guess the year is still fresh and new to be still wishing you ppl that. Anyone set any new year resolution for this new year? Well, I dont quite have one myself. When I was studying, when ppl asked me what my new year resolution was, I always answered to study hard that year. Well, I think I would do it anyway for my future irregardless whether that was made my new year resolution or not. I did say last year I wanted to be nicer to ppl (coz I know I'm not sooo nice at times) and probably I still need to observe that. Other than that, I probably want to lose weight... or not... (coz I dont think I am THAT fat although ppl keep telling me otherwise and I will lose some treasured fat if I lose weight which I don't quite want. Yes, seriously) I want to study hard For Real for my CFA (which I didn't attend last December since I was down with really bad sore throat and cough). Well, those are the things I want to achieve moving forward but they are not really my new year's resolutions. They are just some things I want/need to do in this near future.

Bangi... Bangi... Bangi... I bought my long-awaited bedroom set (without the bed since we have one already) with a 7 1/2 feet long and 8 feet tall wardrobe. (Heaven!) Bought it at Cavenzi, Sg Besi at a reasonable price. But what was kinda weird was that I went to 2 Cavenzis before but had never came across this set. (I even went through their catalogue!) Nearly gave up and wanted to just take the offer from a shop BESIDE Cavenzi, Balakong (Balakong was SuPPoSeD to be Cavenzi's HQ) if there's no such offer available at World of Furniture yesterday. (Not that I need it to be from Cavenzi but since there was sooo much hyped going around about the cheap prices and all, I was kinda frustrated when I can't find something that would suit my need). Anyway, to cut the story short, after window shopping at 2 shops with mummy, 3 shops with hubby, I finally found what I want yesterday. I was sooooooooooo happy indeed... Yes, shopping is tiring for me. But this is a big amount of money we are talking about so need to spend a bit of time shopping around first before can really close a deal. Next would be a side kitchen cabinet and a fridge.

Other than that, I am currently trying to catch up with TV series that I have left behind last year. Thanks to Ms Irna for supplying those series to me. Am currently watching Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy and soon Gossip Girl as well. Well, I'm kinda lagging behind so need to catch up faster... wait a minute. There's no NEED to catch up faster. I'm in no rush... Just kinda bored at the moment. Alritey then. More updates later. Daa~

Goodbye 2009~

Hello peeps! There are a lot of changes going on in my life at the moment, being married and all. Big news (at least to me): We have finally decided to move in together and live in Bangi at last... So currently quite busy trying to furnish the house and make it as live-able and home-y as possible. Tentative moving in date is 16/01/10... (3 months after being hubby and wifey). Have not decided on house-warming date yet... so be patient.

I actually have mixed feeling about moving to Bangi. Though I am still keeping my room in KL, my main residence now will be in Bangi, instead of Setapak i.e. the place where I practically grew up. As excited as I am to start living with my beloved hubby, I can't deny feeling really2 sad to leave KL. (well... partially... I still work in KL)

Pros:

1) Living full time with hubby

2) In between hubby's farm and my office so both have to commute less kilometres

3) Have proper kitchen that I would consider cooking in

4) Bigger house??? (Not sure whether this is a pro since only me, hubby and mummy living there)

Cons:

1) I have no friends there... Most of my friends live in KL!!!

2) Further away from office... Nak balik jam coz I am no longer going against the flow... (Most ppl work in KL and live elsewhere. Bangi & Seremban included so I will be going WITH the flow, thus, traffic is really gonna be a problem)

3) Sentimental value in KL

Hmm, I guess that's it for the main points...

And obviously the first point carries a bigger weight, hence the decision to move. So Bangi, here I come.

New year... New life... And hopefully for the better...

HAPPY NEW YEAR, people!!!

Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha

Hi, everyone. I just woke up ard half an hour ago... (ard 4.30pm-ish) and I'm at my in-laws!!! (What a way to celebrate First Raya with hubby's family) My hubby and I didn't even attend the morning raya prayer and we only woke up and had our breakfast ard 10-ish. We stayed awake for awhile and went back to sleep. The reason being, not only today is a holiday... hubby is not feeling particularly well. He keeps coughing through out the night, thus we are sort of having sleepless nights at the moment... Somehow or rather, the coughing is not that bad during day light. It strikes as a bit weird to me but was told by mother-in-law, hubby's cousin had a similar experience last month, admitted herself into a hospital and found out there was virus in her blood. If hubby's coughing does not subside by monday, mom-in-law is admitting him into hospital ... which is a good thing since I will be on my compulsory cum study leave the whole of next week.

I guess hubby didn't have a good week. It started off with him being told he missed the federal government tender. The fact is he didn't even know that his company's name was even nominated. He was only told by a fellow farmer, who went and asked why he wasn't there. When his company's name was announced and no one showed up, his portion was given to someone else, just like that. He was obviously sooo damn frustrated as the tender could have worth at least hundrends of thousands. As sorry as I felt for him, the only thing I can say is "takde rezeki la tuh. Nak buat camne". Well, I'm sure Allah knows best and He will give what He feels is best for us. Ameen.

We are 1 month old! =)

Hi, everyone! I just feel like writing coz I'm just too lazy to do anything else. It's lunch time at work now so office is pretty quiet. Oh... I got a new PC here at the office, at long last and this one is wayyy better than the old one, where I had to wait 10 mins or more for it to start & be fully functional and a couple of minutes to open an excel file.

Initially, I feel like blogging in Malay after reading bojol's blog. (Bojol, the way you blog is so simple, yet so funny. heheh.) Then, when I started structuring my thoughts, I don't feel like it anymore. After all, I'm not trying to copy Bojol, right? hehe.

I don't actually have anything specific to blog about. But today, me and hubby have been together as husband and wife for exactly one whole month!!! Weee... I hope we last forever and ever and ever ever and ever ever. I marked my one month with him with this statement:

me: Now I have one reason why I DON'T like sleeping with you...

him: (Straight away give me full attention) What is it???

me: I don't like leaving you in the morning when I have to go to work. Ahaqs!

Gotcha hubby. I Love You!!! Muacks

I'm married!!!

Good day, everyone. I know it has been a long break since the last post. As you should have known, I was busy preparing for my wedding, got married, hosted a reception (two including the groom's side) anddd back to work. I wasn't expecting my life to change at all, honestly, but I guess it is changing bit by bit. As a wife, I'd feel slightly guilty to not be by hubby's side, at least when the day is over and during the weekends. Trying to travel up and down every other day is abit tiring, for both of us, but we are trying our best to make it work. Some ppl strongly disagree with the fact that we are sort of staying separately at the moment but the thing is we still travel to see and be with each other most of the time so what's the big deal. It's not like we don't have a place to stay on our own but we are not quite ready to move in together yet. I dunno... maybe financially, emotionally, physically??? whatever... not ready is a general, the most accurate word to describe our position now. Hmm, maybe I should actually start by thanking those of you who attended my wedding. THANK YOU, GUYS!!! It means a lottt to me seeing all of you there... I do need to apologise to those who came, but did not get a chance to meet me. I understand some of you guys have a lot of events to attend that day, thus, not being able to stay for a picture or even say hi. But all in all I am VERY HAPPY with how the reception turned out and am very grateful it went very smoothly.

As for our honeymoon, we picked Pangkor Laut as the preferred destination and I'm telling you now, it's damn worth it. To those of you who are not familiar with that name, Pangkor Laut Resort, is located near THE Pangkor Island itself, but is not on the same island. It is a private island owned by YTL and is a very very very nice place!!! OMG!!! Go check it out yourself. It's a luxurious little place that offers you privacy and peace. It is such a shame that many Malaysians I spoke to don't even know the existance of this place, possibly it is because this resort is more on the pricey side but nevertheless it is worth even cent we paid. Initially I didn't even considered this place but a colleague told me about the local residents package that is wayyy cheaper than the standard internet rate. The downside about my honeymoon is, we relaxed too much that I put on a lot of weight during my 3 days 2 nights stay there!!!

Centralise Marriage System in Malaysia (Part 2)

Just to add a few more pointers and stories for prospective newly-weds.

1) Make sure you know your qariah and your registration centre

-One friend of mine, stays at the border of KL-Selangor. Her address is in KL but the mosque nearest to her house is Selangor. So when she went to JAWI, she was sent to JAIS. When she went to JAIS, she was told she to go to JAWI. She had to go back and forth a few times before finally one Jabatan Agama accepted her application. (See... even they don't know which place falls under whose jurisdiction)

-Another friend of mine, stays in Bangi and went to the nearest PAID (Pejabat Agama Islam Daerah) in Kajang to submit her application. She was told that she had to submit her application in Salak Selatan, which is near KLIA and Nilai, Hazmi's current area. Hazmi, on the other hand, can't submit there, since that would fall under Selangor. So he has to submit in Seremban. So make sure you get your registration centre right.

2) Changing of address

-I dont have much experience in this. The most I had to do was fill in a form confirming my status of residency, signed by my kadi. I had to do this because the address in my IC is different from my house address. But the address in my IC is just in the housing area next to mine so it is still in KL and within the same vicinity.

-I heard a friend of mine, who is from Penang but currently staying in KL, is trying to claim residency here in KL. In other words, he is trying to file his application in KL, instead of in Penang. So I heard he has to fill in some forms proving his current address, bla bla bla. I don't know the procedure so to those who plan to do the same, better go find out about that.

Ok peeps. I am just sharing these stories here so that you people would be more prepared to face these challenges ahead of you. It might be simple and easy for some, but if you are a bit unlucky, it could also get very complicated. Speaking about inefficiency, I was told by JAWI, it would only take about an hour or so for them to process the application but when Hazmi went to submit his form in Seremban, he was told that they need 3 days to process the application. So just be prepared. Don't be surprised if you take a day off from work to settle all these things, just to be told that it can't be done within a day. Good luck~

Centralise marriage system in Malaysia

I don't understand why it is so difficult to process marriage application in Malaysia. When I wanted to collect the form, I asked a friend, who then asked her father, whether I should go to Seremban to get the form for my fiance. I was told I can get everything from JAWI (Jabatan Agama Islam Wilayah Persekutuan) since my marriage will be registered there. So I drove all the way from Nilai to KL to pick up both forms and was told that I need to go to Seremban to pick up Hazmi's form. =_= Today the same thing happened again. Hazmi has filled up his form and got the imam's signature. So I went to see my imam and I asked him. "Do I need to submit Hazmi's form to Jabatan Agama Seremban?" He told me, I don't have to do that because the marriage will be registered in KL so everything will be arranged here. This time, I asked again, "Are you sure?" He said yes. Considering he is the imam of my area, I believed him when he said that. However, when I went to JAWI just now, I was again told that Hazmi needs to get permission from Seremban to get married. Firstly, we DON'T NEED YOUR PERMISSION TO GET MARRIED. And secondly, why can't everything be centralised? I mean, after all, we are all in Malaysia. Why can't they have a database and process everything from anywhere, as long as you submit your form to a Jabatan Agama, irregardless in which state you submit your form to? Urgh. They are making it so difficult to get married.

Another thing is, my parents are divorced. Since I am their first daughter, I need to provide their marriage certificate to prove that I am a legitimate daughter from that marriage. Fair enough. Since they are divorced, I provided their divorce letter and my mom's swearing-in letter to confirm the matter above. But each time, they have a look at the letter, they will just have to ask, "surat nikah takde eh?". Aren't YOU the one working in Jabatan Agama? Shouldn't YOU know that when you got divorced, they will take back the marriage certificate??? OMG! Damn irritating. Please stop asking me stupid questions!!!

To those who are in the process of getting all this permission/approval crap, here's the list of what you should do (irregardless of what anyone else might say):

1) Go for the marriage course

2) Collect guy's form from his state's Jabatan Agama

3) Collect girl's form from her state's Jabatan Agama

4) Do HIV test

5) Fill in forms

6) Guys - Need pengakuan akuan bujang from employer/ketua kampung/imam

7) First daughters - Provide parent's marriage certificate. If divorced, provide divorce letter and surat sumpah

8) Submit form to guy's side for kebenaran berkahwin

9) Submit form (together with guy's completed form and approval) to girl's side for kebenaran berkahwin

It was supposed to be a simple process so it should be done in no time. But when different ppl tell you different things and the Jabatan Agama being so inflexible, it just complicates the whole process. I hope this is a bit of a help for prospective newly-weds (if you don't already know).

Staying

I remember wanting to blog about something but I don't remember what to blog about. While I figure that out, I think I'll just blab for awhile. Before that, on a more serious note, CIMB has finally delivered what they promised me months ago. So I'm happy to say that I am at peace working there now. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee.............. ^_^
What the??? Haha... Whatever~

And wedding preparation update:
Booked the dress and make up for his and my side
Have started printing invitation cards
Booked a photograper looong time ago
Both of us are done with HIV test
Hazmi forms are complete and ready to go

To do list:
Still looking for a videographer
Havent bought the ring and hantaran and whatever comes with it
Made appointment to submit my forms with my dad and kadi this Sunday
To buy more door gift coz we only bought about 200 before

Relationship - read at own risk

I always find myself as an open, sharing person, as in stories-wise... I AM NOT a secretive person, thus I tend to NOT hide things from people unless it is really necessary for me to do so. So when a friend of mine shared with me her experience before she got married, I was kinda surprised I didn't know it when it happened. Nevertheless, I am thankful for her sharing the story at the right time... while I am going through a rough patch in my engagement period.

What I didn't know about this seemingly happy friend of mine is, a week before she had gotten hitched, her ex-boyfriend came back to her, asked her NOT to marry her fiance and marry HIM instead! Wow, that's a dramatic move. I mean, a week before the wedding, like reallyyyyy ex-bf? As much as she was and still is in love with her man, she did still have feelings for the ex. Hence, she was such in a confused state for awhile when all this drama happened. Needless to say, she cried and cried and prayed hard but finally decided to stick with her decision and go on with the fiance instead. I am happy to report, they are now happy together, bought their own place and expecting their very first child. On top of that, we also suspected another very close friend of ours, went through a somewhat similar experience. This girl, S, had a difficult choice to make between two guys, both are (yes, past and present) madly in love with her. She decided with one, which is her present hubby now, but had a hard time letting go this other guy, who I suspect was very frustrated that she had chosen the other man instead.

After hearing these stories that evening, I started to think that my problem isn't half as big. But the thing is, I don't have the liberty to choose between two guys coz I only have one. These girls, no matter who they choose, will end up with a guy. It's only a matter of a better guy. I, on the other hand, is to marry this guy or not. My problem is actually him frictioning with me and now I discovered another one, hiding things behind my back, although he promised not to do so two years ago. (I suspect he forgot he made that promise because he just made it again... or he is just not the kind of man that honour the promises he makes... I hope it's the first one because if it's the second, I should not be marrying him in the first place!)

The problem started with him trying to save a damsel in distress, as always, being the honourable guy. Me, on the other hand, opposed that idea as I believe in hard work earned money. I understand his point of view but was nevertheless mad at HER, the damsel in distress. Although I was so mad at her for always asking money from us, I didn't want to directly shoot her so I only poured it out to my fiance instead. He then got mad at me for... erm, I am still not too sure why and stopped talking to me altogether. Apparently, he thinks I accused him of something? Something like that.

It's only when we are trying to sort things out, I truly found out (I suspected it long before already) he went to see somebody I don't quite particularly like (because she used to have like a big crush on him before and even after finding out this guy is dating someone else, she still is very mengade with him... geeshhhh... gedik) BEHIND MY BACK.

Oh My God! Two things in a row. Like seriously? We have less than 3 months before the wedding and I really hope nothing new would come up. This is just stressing me out. Maybe it's a good thing... Maybe it is a reminder for me to NOT love a guy with ALL MY HEART. A friend of mine warned me to keep a portion of my heart for myself but I told her I can't do that coz I have fallen 120% in love with my fiance. When all these things hitting me just 3 months before the wedding, I am starting to think, maybe, I should follow my friend's advice instead.

It's not too late for me to do that, right? The problem is, I'm sure when our problems are "solved" (at the time of writing, Mr Fiance still refuses to discuss the matter at hand, so they are currently being swept under the rug) or rightly forgotten, I WILL once again surrender all my heart into his hand and risking it being crushed again and again.

I hope I am not making the wrong decision here for staying in this half-transparent relationship. Oh Allah, Please help me coz only You know BEST!

Trial

I always thought we could weather through anything. Now I'm not so sure.

I guess the demons are working real hard now that the date is near to ensure they do not lost their most profitable clients on earth.

June update

Hi! Hi! What's new with everyone? I havent had the time to read all your blogs. All I can do at the moment, in the middle of my hectic life, are calling/meeting some of you once in a while and sourcing stories about you guys from other ppl.

And what's new with me? I passed all my 4 papers for my PKMC exam. Not with distinction but I am very thankful with the result already. Was super worried especially for my 2nd module but Alhamdullilah, He let me passed. Sadly, no increment as expected so I have to make do with this tiny pay for now.

Wedding preparation... well, is a bit slow... as usual. We took the forms from Jabatan Agama in KL & Seremban respectively but it's still too early to submit them now. I took my HIV test. Hazmi hasn't. We ordered our cards but haven't send in a few items they needed. Theme and costume... not finalised... Door gift... have not decided on that either. Oh my! So little time, So much to do.

Hazmi farm is still running in good shape. I am there almost every weekend but this week Hazmi asked me to rest and wait for him came over instead, which was why I had some extra time to update this blog. We watched Transformer 2: The Revenge of the Fallen yesterday and it was awesome. Bumped into Baby D just before the show, which was cool coz the air fight and all reminded me of her.

Oh, I'm 25 now!!! And thanks to EVERYONE who celebrated my birthday and also those who wished me from near and far. Love you guys... Muacks.

My 2nd trip to the MAS Cargo

Hi All!!! My exam is finally over and the result would only be out next month. In the meantime, I would definitely like to enjoy myself and spend more time with my soon-to-be hubby at the farm and of course, my mom. So I decided to spend my weekend with both of them i.e. Saturday with him and Sunday with mummy. I'm so lazy to type about everything that happened so to cut it short, I went to Mas Cargo again last Saturday to accompany hubby picking up the new batch of feral. Oh my, he just looks so hot while working... *drools*

Here's the new batch of feral, the wilder type of goat. They are bigger and stronger (compared to... say... local goats and even lambs, which are also available for sale). Better catch them quick coz they sold out fast. For more info, log on to their website exq-farm.blogspot.com or just click at the link at the side of this blog. Else, call me to get his number directly. (Only for customers okay. Admirers and stalkers are not entertained) LOL.

Engagement, Confirmation and PKMC exam!!!

Normally, after a long break from updating the blog, I would only write in when Irna bugs me to. Quite surprised she hasn't been bugging me already. I'm guessing she's either too busy with her life at the moment or she just couldn't be bothered anymore. Anyway, what's (not so) new with me?
1) I'm engaged to my beloved Hazmi on 7th February ^_^
2) I'm confirmed in CIMB (at long last... that took forever!!!)
3) And I am currently sitting for my PKMC exam. =_=
For those who has been wondering how I did in my CFA last December, as expected, I failed. As historical as it is, being the first me failing a major exam, I wasn't actually expecting a pass as I hardly even completed the syllabus, let alone practised answering the questions. Although it is very frustating since it was very costly, I had signed up to sit for it again this December. Wanted to push doing it in June but I just need some space to breathe. With the wedding coming in October, I just can't take in another major event in my life. Sometimes I think there's just so many things to do, catch up with and chase in this phase of life that I just feel like dropping it off altogether but come to think about it again, I thought I shouldn't give up so easily without a good fight. Hope the money spend on the exam would be worth it this time. Alrightey then. Time to start studying and start the countdownS.

A state of happiness

I don't want to talk about this coz this is very personal but I want to pen this down somewhere as a record, as a memory... so here I am writing in my "diary".

Dear Diary,

At this point of time in my life, I am feeling so damn happy and lucky to be dating this ReALLy rEallY GREAT guy. And God's willing, we are soon gonna be engaged and hopefully making it official on paper to build our life together by the end of next year. I am SoOoO happy and EsTaTiC that he has been SO SO SWEET lately, that sometimes it makes me feel guilty thinking that I might probably not making him feel the same way. Sometimes I am also scared that I might screw this up because to me, now, this is just perfect. I don't want to spoil this in any way, like what happened to some of my friends, intentionally and especially accidentally. I am confident that I would not intentionally hurt him in AnY way but I hope the latter won't Ev3R take place. Like any typical girl, I pray that he won't hurt me and break my heart as is typically seen in real lives and movies. But I also hope he is not reading this because I don't want him to be scared or knows that I am scared or thinks that I am so clingy and change his mind. (Though I think he would one day come across this and if he actually/when he eventually does, I hope this article wouldn't change a bit of what it is today). Of course, there will be some ups and downs, but I hope we will get through anything together and stay strong forever.

I just finished watching "Definitely, Maybe", a story about a father, who is heading for a divorce, relating his love stories to his young daughter. When he said "The happy ending is I have you", I started crying. (Yes, I am always a bit soapy when it comes to this). Then it got me thinking... I have been crying almost half of my childhood, wishing everything would be better one day and now... it is... FiNaLLy it is... and I really really hope it would last... FoREv3R. To you, Mohd Hazmi Abdul Halim, though I am wishing you would not find this, if you do, please remember that you are the love of my life, my very one and only. And I can only thank God for sending you right to me. I love you with all my heart! Thank you~

xoxo,

me

The end of 2008 ~The beginning of 2009

Hi peeps... It has been a while... *ehem* well, a looooonnngggg while since the last update. And I am writing this post now... as usual... to fulfill Miss Irna's request for me to update this long forgotten page. Lets see... where do I start?

2008 has been quite a productive year to most ppl ard me. Hmm, what happened to me? Err, nothing much actually. I changed department from Treasury - Debt Capital Market and Syndication to Treasury - Global Sales and Group Funding. It was a great experience "training" under the syndicate team but I am also enjoying my time here at GSGF. Apart from the normal day-to-day work, we have to also entertain clients with events like bowling, movie trips and year-end party (where we got to dance) so it is still quite fun. However, I am still a trainee and hoping to get confirmed by early next year. On a more personal note, I went to Redang with my beloved last October (alongside Ms Irna, Ms Aiya and Mr Aiya), sat for my CFA exam which was quite disastrous and... have been trying to lose weight unsuccessfully. So my new year's resolution would be... (well, not so new year as it has to start now...) losing 6kgs by the end of January!!! So wish me luck.

As for ppl ard me (as you could probably guess), being in the prime age of settling down, there have been a few waves of engagement and marriage ceremonies all ard... not to mention babies. Trying to fit everything in my very tight schedule, I would try my very best to attend the ceremonies at least to those closest to me. I am so sorry to those ppl whose ceremony I failed to attend. It does not mean you are not important to me... it just mean I am not a witch to be at more than one place at the same time (although I would be very much delighted to have that power *wink*). Expecting a few more waves next year, early first half and mid-year, so keep the invitations coming ppl ^_^

And lastly, update on my sweetest man's progress... His farm is now up and running... with 60 hopefully fertile females, 2 very healthy males and 2 cute baby goats. It is just so amazing... From a forest land, it is now a full-fledged, goat rearing farm. Occasionally, mostly on weekends, I would drive over and play with the goats... help to feed them but that's about it. I'm not that much of a help but nevertheless, I am currently moonlighting as a farmer... errr.. no.. a farmer's wife? Hahaha... Anyway, I can proudly say that I am such a lucky girl to have met and have him in my life.

Cheers.

From this

To this



And this!

Avril Rocks!

Attended Avril's concert at Stadium Merdeka yesterday and it was just superb. She's such a good singer and performer. Her dressing was simple, with just baby-tee and jeans but the concert rocks. Her live singing is awesome... not like some singers who have to lip-sync/mime to their own songs. She didn't blab much to the audience... only a simple line or two... saying that she's happy to be here (which I doubt, with all the last minute cancellation threat and the stupid so-called-protest which I think did not take place) and how's everyone's doing but nevertheless, she interacted well with us... Her expressions were just the cutest and she conquered the whole stage, just like any professional would. Apart from singing, she also played the guitar, piano and drum! Such a talented artist... Anyways, I was standing throughout the whole show (although I actually bought the free seating ticket) but it was all worth it. Was content with the not-so-expensive ticket I bought. It seems a bit packed in front, and I don't quite like packed places. Needless to say, the concert RoCkS! and my bf is such a dear throughout the whole show with me. ^_^ I'm simply happy.

I was on NST!

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Monday/National/2317677/Article/index_html

Banking on 'universal' exposure to build career

Farah is happy learning all she can as a management trainee at CIMB.

KUALA LUMPUR: Farah Haida was a first-year undergraduate when she attended a career talk by CIMB Group corporate resources head Hamidah Naziadin in Cambridge three years ago.
Two years later, as she approached graduation from the London School of Economics, she decided to check out the Careers Fair of the United Kingdom and Eire Council for Malaysian Students in London.

There, she once again came across representatives from CIMB -- one of the many companies wooing graduates such as herself.

Having done her research on CIMB after Hamidah's presentation, Farah decided to only pursue the interview offer from CIMB, despite having received offers from other companies at the exhibition.

Now 24, Farah is happy learning all she can as a management trainee at CIMB.
And so far, Farah has enjoyed every bit of the experience, which she describes as "enriching".

She has been posted to three departments -- corporate assurance, CIMB principal asset management and direct banking and cards -- since she joined the firm last August.

"So far, all the department heads have been very accommodating. They give me work which helps to build up my learning experience."

Although she likes what she's doing, Farah has set her sights on joining CIMB's treasury department.

Hamidah said that at CIMB, the strategy was to expose new recruits to as much of the business as possible, in line with its aim of training "universal bankers"."

They are not confined to a specific area of work, which means that they can experience the full depth and breadth of the business, an opportunity they may not have if they pursue their careers in a larger foreign bank."

Rueben Gan, a first-year philosophy and economics student at the London School of Economics, is coming back to intern for the summer holidays at a consultancy firm in Kuala Lumpur.

But, unlike Farah, he plans to stay on and work in London for a couple of years upon his graduation in June 2010.

Gan said a first-year internship in Malaysia would look good on his resume and it would help him with a second-year internship in London.

"It will give employers the impression that you have the initiative and drive to pick up some relevant and useful work experience in your free time, on top of the obvious credentials on the CV. It may also give you something to talk about in the interview room."

Gan, however, feels it is better for him to remain in Britain after his graduation to gain experience and exposure."

I also enjoy the lifestyle, the city and the diverse mix of people. It's nice to work in a vibrant and exciting environment when you are young."

Fat

Stop saying a girl look fat, chubby or has been putting on weight. You are only torturing the bf. ^_^ hihi

Life is short, Love is Forever

A couple of weeks ago, I rushed back to Perlis after receiving a call from my cousin. Her husband, in his late twenties, passed away from a car accident. She... is 4 months pregnant with their first child. In my opinion, she was surprisingly strong. I, without doubt, would not be able to pull that kind of strength to face that situation. Several times, I tried to imagine me being in her shoes, I just end up in tears. Through out my few hours visit, she calmly told me what happened, answered questions and accompanied me to the husband's fresh grave. I, on the other hand, could not think of a word that is powerful enough to comfort her or tell her that everything is going to be okay. All I could do was give her a hug and tell her to take care.

On another chapter, today is the third day Hazmi has been away from Malaysia. He went to Bangkok to celebrate his graduation with his ex-housemates. Given the super expensive rate to call home, I am "barred" from calling him (or rather "barred" from disturbing his happy moments with his friends). Of course, I am not trying to hi-jack his happiness. In fact, I wish him all the joy in the world. Plus, it is not like I would die from not talking to him. Or would I? No... I am still alive but I feel like all my life has been sucked out of my face. Life is just dull without him in it. If I were to be the one there, I would definitely swallowed the cost to just hear his voice for a minute everyday. I am SUPER addicted to him. The fact is, it is him there now. I can't just call him anytime I like. That would just ruin his super fun trip. I want to let him go and have fun but i miss him so much. Why the hell I have to feel this way. Sob. Sob. I wish I'm not that dependant on him as I am now.

If I have all the time in the world

I would want to re-learn and master my game theory subject!

Friendship

It doesn't really matter how long you have known each other for. It could be 1 week, 2 months, 12 years... All that really matters is how much you care for each other and be there for you when you need them the most. I am blessed to be given such great friends around me. I love all of you. ^-^ xox

5 1/2 years

What does that mean to you?

A child that age can attend pre-school already. Yet the presence of it is not felt...

Enough politics

I've never had that much interest in it anyway. Was only heated up when I read those articles since I've been following the crude oil prices. Hence the entry. Read another article about a minister slamming bloggers for making political entries. Am sure she's referring to the left-wingers, but to be fair, I don't one to be one-sided. So enough politics here... We can talk economics if we want to. Heh. That would benefit me a lot. But the last one was such a hot entry, huh? haha. Well, that entry is not closed if anyone of you wants to add, elaborate or argue with any of the comments there. Irna... I don't have any energy to type about it anymore. I've been typing very long comments on that. So if you are lazy to read the newpapers "clippings", do read the comments. It would help to summarize the whole argument.

Had some ideas on what to write yesterday but forgot already now. Maybe I'll continue writing later.

What the hell!

I thought of writing a proper entry on how excited I am to be voting for the first time. I was planning to say that our vote is P&C so I am not going to reveal which party I am going to vote for. I was also planning to say that unlike US voters who choose their candidate based on their current policy stance, I am not that much influenced by all that coz it all looks like gibberish to me. All I care about is a peaceful, prosperous and comfortable community to live in. Then I came across these articles. What the hell... Now I AM INFLUENCED by what policy they are making. If you don't know how to run a country, then don't run for candidacy. Or at the very least, don't make such ridiculous promise just for the sake of winning a seat without thinking of the consequences to the country. Yes, the promise seems very attractive. Petrol subsidy is essential for the people of the nation BUT it's ALL about balance. You can't expect to tackle one issue without sacrificing another in the economy. Are they trying to push us back to being a socialise economy? Yeah, that sounds like fun. Lets go back to using coupons to get food in the country. Ration it and divide equally regardless of taste, need or effort put in. This statement came in light just a day after I read about Melaka government trying to offer jobs to poor people but they refuse to work as they would prefer to receive benefits instead. (Of course, I haven't factored in those who are REALLY incapable. Hopefully the statistics would already have.) And I dislike beggers!!! Go find a job! A cleaner, a nanny, clerk... Whatever... If you are capable enough to walk around asking for money, you are capable enough to at least swipe the floor or probably be a translator for the blind or something. At least, now you know who I will NOT be voting for. Hmmph!!!

Copied from www.utusan.com.my

Syor Pas tak masuk akal
KUALA LUMPUR 19 Feb. – Cadangan Pas menubuhkan negara kebajikan disifatkan sebagai tidak masuk akal dalam keadaan dunia menghadapi kenaikan harga minyak mentah mencecah AS$100 dolar (RM320) setong.

Justeru, banyak pihak berpendapat, konsep itu hanya janji manis parti pembangkang untuk menawan hati pengundi yang akhirnya menyebabkan rakyat hidup melarat dan tertekan.

Presiden Persekutuan Syarikat-Syarikat Tersenarai Awam, Datuk Seri Megat Najmuddin Megat Khas berkata, Pas perlu lebih realistik dengan konsep negara kebajikan kerana bukan mudah menyalurkan begitu banyak subsidi kepada rakyat ketika harga minyak mentah di pasaran dunia semakin melambung.

Menurut beliau, kerajaan sudah pun membelanjakan RM40 bilion setahun untuk pemberian pelbagai bentuk subsidi termasuk petrol dan gas sedangkan peruntukan itu boleh digunakan untuk melaksanakan pelbagai bentuk pembangunan.

Katanya, subsidi itu yang berjumlah RM200 bilion untuk tempoh lima tahun menyamai keseluruhan peruntukan pembangunan Rancangan Malaysia Kesembilan (RMK-9).

“Pas tidak akan mampu memberi begitu banyak subsidi secara berterusan tanpa meningkatkan pendapatan negara. Adakah ini bermakna cukai akan ditingkatkan?’’ kata Megat Najmuddin ketika dihubungi Utusan Malaysia di sini hari ini.

Beliau mengulas rancangan Pas untuk melancarkan manifesto rasmi bertajuk Negara Berkebajikan pada Khamis ini.

Setiausaha Agung Pas, Datuk Kamaruddin Jaafar berkata, manifesto setebal lebih 20 muka surat itu mengandungi tawaran-tawaran munasabah mengandungi penyelesaian kepada kegawatan ekonomi kepada rakyat Malaysia tidak kira jantina, kaum dan agama.

Sementara itu, Penasihat Jawatankuasa Bertindak Pelaksanaan Negara (NITF), Datuk Zainal Aznam Yusoff berkata, tindakan mewujudkan ‘negara kebajikan’ akan menjadikan rakyat semakin malas dan tidak berani menghadapi risiko.

‘‘Adakah ini bermaksud Pas akan membiayai perbelanjaan rakyat seumur hidup sehingga mereka tidak perlu mengeluarkan wang satu sen pun?’’ tanya beliau.

Menurutnya, pemberian subsidi tidak boleh diteruskan selama-lamanya kerana ia akan menjejaskan pembangunan negara.

Pakar ekonomi dan perbankan Islam, Datuk Dr. Nik Norzrul Thani Nik Hassan Thani pula berkata, hasrat Pas menubuhkan ‘negara kebajikan’ dikhuatiri melumpuhkan daya saing negara.

Beliau berpendapat, rakyat akan disogok dengan pelbagai bentuk elaun dan subsidi sehingga menyebabkan mereka hilang motivasi diri serta semangat keusahawanan.

Menurutnya, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w sendiri seorang tokoh perniagaan yang giat mengembangkan ekonomi umat Islam, bukan bersandarkan kepada kebajikan semata-mata.

‘‘Jangan sampai dikongkong oleh pemerintah sehingga daya saing kita semakin lumpuh,’’ ujarnya.

Copied from www.thestar.com.my

Shafie hits out at ‘quack’ solutions
KUALA LUMPUR: The opposition’s simple solution to complex world economic trends is irresponsible and akin to the “economics of Donald Duck,” said Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Minister Datuk Shafie Apdal.
Shafie chided the opposition for promising to reduce the price of petrol and diesel and to become more charitable if elected.
“The only way they can achieve this is by increasing the level of subsidy which was RM43bil last year,” he said yesterday.
“This is possible but totally unrealistic and extremely damaging as it will lead to higher inflation, loss of businesses and lower standard of living.
“The government has no intention of allowing the country to become a comic-strip economy.”
Shafie said this in his speech at the launch of the Credit Counselling and Debt Management Agency's (AKPK's) newly upgraded website. His speech was read out by the ministry’s deputy secretary-general (domestic trade) Dr Muzahet Masruri.
Shafie said steps such as careful enforcement of price controls were being taken to reduce financial pressures on the people and to minimise effects of rising global prices.
He commended Bank Negara and AKPK for their work in helping Malaysians in debt, which often occurred due to lack of knowledge in managing their finances.
“More than 26,000 people have received counselling and some 9,000 individuals have been helped under AKPK’s free debt management programme since it was set up in 2006.
“As of September last year, total household debt was about RM351bil with non-performing loans of about 7% (RM24.57bil.) Of this, credit card debt amounted to RM21.6bil,” he said, adding that those referred to AKPK were mostly in their 30s and 40s. Other debt include personal, housing and car loan.
AKPK chief executive officer Mohamed Akwal Sultan said their website www.akpk.org.my provided online advice within 24 hours to help individuals be more prudent with their finances.

Update 2 2008

I'm back... What a surprise... even to myself. Second update this month. hehe. Well, all you need is to get into the second gear and keep increasing it (mentang2 lah bawak manual :p) haha. And thanx you sweet ppl... I thot I lost all readers. (Wait a minute... why do I need readers? What's the purpose of me writing this blog? To update ppl on my life or to serve as my diary? Peer pressure? Hmm... Oh ya, to update ppl on my life... so without readers who am I updating, right? And occasionally it does serve as my diary so ppl, if you do read those kind of entries, do keep it to yourself =p After all, it's private! [Yeah, right~] But as I said before, I consider ppl who read my blog my friends, probably friends-of-friends... coz I don't advertise my blog to the whole world. So when it comes to private entries, that's me trying to pour out to my beloved sweet friends. Awwhhh. hehe.)

Ok, ok. Back to the real world. So far, I am starting to get things in place. Unpacked the last box of things from the UK (that's because Dina already asked for her books, which were shipped in my box and arrived like months ago). And I joined the aerobic class Dina recommended. So far, went to 2 classes already. It's really good and fun :) Tried to go for more but sadly, can't make it after work. With the traffic, I just can't make it on time. ~ My little baby neo is fine. Took it for its first 1000km service. Man, with free labour, it still cost me about RM150. Combined that with first monthly installment, aerobic fees and belly belt, I'm going deficit this month. Hope things would pick up later. If not, I'm really going broke. Also having trouble finding time and energy to keep it clean.

Work... My current boss is really sweet. She took time of her busy schedule to always include me in. Took me to luncheon with other bankers, sent me to meetings and sent me to briefings. She's nice... very willing to teach. Very appreciative of my work. Though I made some mistakes, she chose to see it from the bright side, saying it's pretty good for a first timer. Here I am, feeling all stupid for making mistake in such an important work but she's so motivating. (me hug her) And I am getting pretty comfortable with my colleagues. Now I don't feel like leaving. But at the same time, I want to know what else is out there. Then again, boss is supportive saying it's unfair for me to not finish my round. Awh, me so lucky. Now I need to see and decide which department I want to go next... provided there's vacancy in that department. SPA (Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam) offered me to go for an interview for the PTD (Pegawai Tadbir & Diplomatic) position today. Since I am determined to pursue my dream to become a trader, I am letting that go. Called JPA, and they said, since it is hard to get work these days and I already have one, I should just go with it. They released me from the bond since I completed everything.. sent in completion form, applied for work with SPA and "waited" 6 months to be called. After all, a LOT of ppl want to work for them and they only have limited place. Letting me go would actually be a win-win position for both of us.

CFA wise, me opened account already. But am thinking of paying next month. Coz I need to pay before 17 March to get cheap price. At the same time, I am trying to get an extra month in ASB(to earn extra dividend). Haih, so sad, no money to study. Need to draw down savings. All money! money! money! now. Sometimes I feel a tiny bit of regret for buying the car a bit early in life. If only I waited a bit longer, I could have saved a lot more. But when I think of how I reallllllllyyyyyy neeed the car, it is just the best decision I could make at this point of time. Well, lucky I live with mummy. At least she could still partly take care of me.

Life wise... I am sooooooo happy to be home. I mean I don't have a tiny bit of regret for not working there in the UK. Different ppl have different taste, different needs, different capabilities. And me... I'm just happy here, regardless of what ppl think I should do. After all, I need to decide what's best for me. So this is it! ~ My second life, in TornCity, is fine... Trying to balance real life and game life. Especially that I'm married in there to a guy from the US. The time difference and commitment, are making me twice as bz. Well, not twice, just a bit more. But now that Val's Day over (not that I do much actually), I should be free-er, except for the occasional chaining (that's attacking ppl in other faction at a specific time determined by the leader).

Ok peeps. Me need to go do all the cleaning now. Laundry. Wash car. Iron clothes. Maybe clean toilet too. Haha. Owh yeah, clean self, especially now that I just got back from that aerobic class. (See, car help take me there. If not, I'd have to take a cab... Pay... and wait under the hot sun for God knows how long. At least, it helps get my life together. No no... me not regret for having my baby) So later peeps... hope this post last u long enough until the next update. Haha.

P/s: bojol... I'll try to look into that chatbox when I feel like it. heh

Back to blogging?

Hey peeps... Surprise to see a new entry??? I doubt ppl even visits this page anymore but to irna... who scolded me for being too lazy to do anything and asked me to update my blog... here's one entry for you :p

Right. Where do I start? It has just been too damn long since the last post. Let me just say I bought a new car? It's a black 1.6 manual H-Line Satria Neo... Yes, it is small but I don't care coz I can fit in pretty well in there. My bf??? He'll manage. :)

Guess which one is mine? ^_^

Work wise... I'm currently attached to CIMB-Principal Asset Management, after I completed my classroom program. (Well, not totally complete anyway. I have another ONE class to attend) Learning, Learning and Learning!

Study wise... Planning to take CFA in December. Initially wanted to take the June sitting but feels that it's quite heavy for me to handle right now. Better get my life in place first.

Marriage plans... Nothing in the calendar yet. So better not hold your breathe to that. (Am just putting it here so that ppl would stop "harassing" me by asking that question again and again.

Relationship wise... Yeah... we're good ;) =D kiss kiss sygku... (I'm pretty damn sure he stops reading this already) (What's with the *damn* word. Seems to be overly used. And what's with this thought in a thought, double bracket thing ??? )

Hmm, what else? I'm currently body conscious. I TRY not to eat dinner... Trying to look for gyms to attend. Found Dina's aerobik class. Think I'll give that a try.

And lastly, I wonder when would the next post be... Soon or a few months more down the road? Hehe... Adios peeps...

Growing Up...

"It hurts to grow. Anyone who tells you it doesn't is lying." Quoted from S4E1 Grey's Anatomy.

Berbuke with the girls

It's been awhile since I last met them so when Irna suggested for us to bukak puasa together, I was really happy to meet my old friends although I had to go there wearing my working attire and had to take the CIMB van to go to KL Sentral (which was really packed). Old friends... hmm, I guess we can say that... now that we've known each other for more than 10 whole years.Since it was quite a last minute plan, only 5 of us turned up; Irna, Zue, Asserk, Nanad and Me. We ate at Nando's and stayed there until 10 or so. (To Jimmy and Joe, I would say I was rather satisfied with their food and service, though it was actually a bit slow) Refusing to go back early, we went to Taman Tasik Titiwangsa to hang out for awhile. Took pictures with the Eye On Malaysia and goof around, all the while telling old jokes and stories. What's weird is that, with the exception of Irna, everyone's phone kept on ringing. Parents couldn't stop calling, asking when we would be back, including MY MOM. Owh My. I just said my mum wouldn't be bothered so much what time I come home as long as I tell her my whereabouts. I guess, we should all give them some credits, given the recent incident of Nurin Jazlin Jazimin (an 8-year-old girl who got abducted, raped and killed after going to Pasar Malam alone). Al-Fatihah to her... Not that we are 8 years old anymore, but it Is a dangerous world out there so it's understandable for parents to be worried. As for Irna's parents, it's not like they don't care. Irna's not staying with her parents at the moment since she's renting in Cyber so they didn't know she was out. At mid-night, we called Sarr and Aiya, wishing them happy birthday. Thought of calling Ipok to wish her too but didn't want to disturb the new-mum so we abandoned the nobel thought. Here are some pics from that outing.

Thought we had enough for the night? Totally wrong. Hazmi joined us soon afterwards but unfortunately we had to send Nanad back since she would have an early start the next day. So there we were again... 5 packs. Went to "kedai bubur" for a drink and lepak2. The 3 of them kept on searching for the place's name. For the many times Hazmi & I have been there, I only knew that place as kedai-bubur-yg-ade-swimming-pool-tuh. Now it's The Lodge Poolside (hmm, sounds weird), or something like that. I ordered one bowl of chicken porridge and Hazmi can't take his eye of that bowl. hehe... sorry dear. You were caught on camera.

At about 3am, we went back and the girls went to their respective homes. All in all, I had fun and glad I decided to meet up with these old friends of mine. ;)
A random comment, I miss my tripod. t_t

Happy 5th Anniversary!!!

Happy Happy Happy Anniversary to Hazmi & Me =D

here's a "stupid" picture of our celebration... karaok-ing and laughing all night long. heheh

Kuching

I feel like i'm getting lazier and lazier to update my blog. SoOner or later, I think this blog would get abandoned. That would depends on my boredom level and workload. Well, Penang was kinda fun. apart from the fact that I was not feeling well all week there. Nearly asked for a MC but lucky I managed to get some rest b4 continuing work. After 2 weeks in office, I'm going to fly off again tmrw, this time to Kuching, Sarawak. Sounds like fun eyh? I've never been there before so I hope I would enjoy this trip. Lots of new thing to learn, lots of exciting things to see. So ppl, wish me luck ^_^... Take care and chiow~

I'm Working Now

Hi Hi Hi... I'm now a working lady. Still can't quite believe it myself. The second day of working, when mummy woke me up saying I'm late, I woke up thinking, late for what??? haha. It took me a few seconds to realize I'm late for WoRk!!! Well, not that late actually, just on time. ~ I've been working for a week now. Actually, more of learning than actually working. For which company? CIMB, of course ;) hehe... So happy. Alhamdulillah. I seem to like it here. My first department is Corporate Assurance. I'll be flying to Penang this Monday for my first assignment. What do I have to do exactly, I have No Idea. I'm screwed, am I not? haha. Lets just see what happens. Hopefully all goes well... I really like this company so I have to perform well. hehe. Ok then. Anything, just gimme a call ppl. I'm back home... just bz working =p C ya ard...

Tadaima!

Hey ppl. I'm home. I seem to be very quiet lately eyh. So the very bz. hehe. Bz travelling, Bz packing, Bz closing down accounts, Bz catching up with sleep... and the list goes on. I must admit I was very sad to leave london. Nearly cried when I was leaving LSE for the last time. (but I didn't. The weather did though. It cried so heavily that I was forced to stay behind, probably to enjoy the view and capture the feeling for one last time) So here I am, back home. Back to my family and back to my friends. Back to my hometown, and not to forget, back to my hubby's side (to the disappointment of some parties) I see desperate measure being taken but too bad ppl. I'm here for good now.
So what have I been up to? Rest, Date, Movie, Game, Called CIMB. The last one being the most important thing. Have to sit for an aptitude test this Friday and going to start working the next Monday, which is the 6th of August. =_= huu, that soon. Maybe it's good. I'm getting all rusty here and I need to give a powerpoint presentation to CIMB when I start work for them. Erk~ Ok then, that's all for now. Gtg back to my harry potter book. Been holding it for a week already and abg's started asking for it. Chiow~

Alhamdulillah

Rather than wasting my time staring into space, I should update my blog. Have been posting random entries to avoid writing a real one but I ShoUlD write something... type i mean. Read a few ppl's blogs and realised I haven't been updating my friends on my current status. So what's new in my life. I'm graduating tomorrow. My result was just out yesterday. Alhamdullilah. Allah allowed me to get a 2:1 after all. I am so very thankful to Him... It was a close one. Short of a few marks here and there could have denied me the grade. Was quite scary but Alhamdulillah... So I guess I am going to CIMB after this, turning a new leaf, starting a new phase in life... there. Hopefully everything would be alright. I am very hopeful at the moment. Hoping life could turn out good. Not that it's not. It is ok, just a bit... heavy, I feel. Maybe not So heavy compared to a lot others. Sigh. I should start to learn to be thankful with my life, with what I have... All in all, life is fine. Turning a new leaf is exciting. I'm looking forward to my new life. Pray that everything would be great. ^_^

How will you be defined in the dictionary?

Farah --
[noun]:

A person who laughs at anything (even this entry)

Hahahaha, found this on mimi's blog. I can't even stop myself from laughing. This is so funny. Try it here.

Hazmi --
[adjective]:

Smells like teen spirit

Hmm, no wonder... he would never mature.

Which One Are You?

Message: First, identify yourself as right or left brain person:

1. Hold your hands together, as if you were praying. Look at your hands. If you see

Left thumb is below the right thumb ---> left brain
Right thumb is below the left thumb ---> right brain

2. Fold your arms in front of you (as if you are angry)

Right arm above left arm ---> left brain
Left arm above right arm ---> right brain

Based on 1+2 (order important), below is the interpretation of your personality:

Right-Left
==========
Considerate, traditional, indirect type can instantly read other's emotion, and respond friendly by natures. Although not very into taking initiatives in moving forward, but this person will always take a step back in supporting others. Stable personality and considerate, give others a being protected feeling. But the weakness is they cannot say no; regardless how unwilling they are, they will take care of others.

Right-Right
===========
Loves challenges type

Straightforward. Once they decided on one thing, will take action right away. Very curious, and love challenges. Dare to face dangers without thinking through (sometimes foolishly). Their weakness is they don't listen to others, will filter in only what whey want to hear in a conversation, and very subjective. However, because of their straightforward attitude, they end to be fairly popular.

Left-Left
=========
Dedicated, cold, perfectionist

Very logical in all aspects. The only way to defeat (or win over) him/her is through reasons. Has a lot of prides, and feeling strongly about doing the right thing. If they are your friends, they are very trustworthy. However, if they are your opponents, they will be very tough to deal with. Because they can be very "anal" as a perfectionist, they usually leave a bad impression of being hard to deal with when first met.


Left-Right
==========
Likes to take care of others, leader type

Has a cool and keen observation ability to see through situations, yet still can be considerate in others needs. Because of their cool and calm nature, and strong sense of responsibility, they tend to become head of a group. Popular among people. However, they may not be able to help themselves in meddling because they want to take care of others too much. Very concerned about how others view them, and always on alert.

Birthday Celebration

Sorry for the long silence. I was rather busy holidaying =p Didn't get the chance to update my blog or reply ppl's wishes be it on friendster or blog. Thanx to everyone who did. ^_^ Here's a short update. I'm now in Scotland, disturbing my ex-schoolmate Wafa, who is studying in Glasgow. We went to Edinburgh today and it was real fun (despite the fact that we were so belagak and didn't bring our jackets while it was damn cold)
So... my birthday celebration. I decided to mark my 23rd birthday by being a kid =p My housemates, bf and I went to Legoland, Windsor, joined by Yat and Lion. Although we should feel a bit out of place (should... coz I don't. haha), it was an enjoyable experience. Looking around, every group had at least a toddler with them. My group claimed they had a baby with them too. haha. I'm honoured. Whatever¬ Basically there were rides and a lot of statues made of legos around. But the most interesting part was the lego mini europe. It was very beautiful. Didn't quite believe that they were all made from tiny little legos. I would upload the photos later when I'm back in London. Till then, take care ^_^

Happy Birthday To Me!

hihi. i'm 23 today

And you wonder why ppl call me baby?

Aida: b, apsal rambut u extra lurus? (Why is your hair extra straight?)
Me: Hah? Mane ade. Mmg bukan lurus ke? (Hasn't it always been straight?)
Mimi: Sbb u sikat rambut eh~ (Must be because you comb your hair)
(Because I comb my hair very seldomly)

Me: Eh, b bau busuk laa (I feel smelly)
Mimi: U dah mandi blom? (Have u taken your shower?)
Me: ??? Dah La!!! (Of course!!!)
(Because I'm so lazy to shower. But I still shower everyday... most of the time =p)

Me: Tak lalu makan (No appetite to eat)
*Saw mimi took out her carbonated drink and took mine from the fridge
Dina: U nak minum air gas, perut kosong? (You want to drink carbonated drink with empty stomach?)
Aida & Mimi: Haa, nanti masuk angin. Ni gas tau. (Might feel bloated later coz it's gassy.)
Me: ... Fine. I finish my food first.

Life is full of uncertainty

A few weeks ago, I was so excited when I got a conditional offer from CIMB. Now, my future is in a haze. After 3 papers down, I would say I didn't do very well. Hope is all I have now. Well, I feel like I can't take this anymore but I should not and can't give up just yet. I have another paper left. Apart from being under prepared, I am not in my right mind right now. ~entry sensored~ All I can say now is, if my result turn out to be so bad, probably this job is not suitable for me. It is more about whether I can handle pressure and separate my emotion from my professional mind rather than whether I can actually study everything I have learnt. After all, the job is very demanding and stressful. All I know, Allah knows best. For that, don't put your hopes up just yet.

Exam Timetable!

Alritey ppl. Here's my timetable. To you guys, GOOD LUCK & ALL THE BEST PPL! =D

15 May 2007 - AC300: Corporate Finance, Investments and Financial Markets
17 May 2007 - MA300: Game Theory
18 May 2007 - AC330: Financial Accounting and Analysis
23 May 2007 - AC340: Auditing, Governance and Risk Management

Saya sayang housemates saya

Housemates saye semua sgt sweet. Diorg layan saye takut lipan dalam bilik air. Diorg tolong gune bilik air dulu sebelum saye gune sbb kalau tak, saye takut nak masuk. Diorg tlg pegi beli racun lipan and tabur dalam bilik air. Diorg tolong ajar saye bile saye tak paham. Diorg bagi saye tgk contoh jawapan yg lebih baik. Bile saye bosan, diorg teman saye sembang, main dan makan. Kadang2, diorg siap tolong masakkan makanan. Bile saye sedih, diorg tolong dgr dan pujuk saye. Bile saye panik nak interview, diorg bagi soalan dan teman saye pegi pagi2 bute. Next week kitorg start final exam. Semue org tgh sebuk study skrg. Tahun depan semue org bawak hal masing2. Nanti saye akan miss housemates saye. Jage diri baik2 kawan2.

p/s: Excuse the "jiwang" entry. But I really hate those centipedes.

Daddy's little girl

I just called my dad to ask about something. Before hanging up, he asked what I was doing. I answered, "I am supposed to be studying but I am so lazy. Scold me! Scold me!" Then my dad said "Dah besar dah, tak payah scold. Kene study sendiri." (something like that) What I forgot was, my dad never scold me, since I was little until now. He never, in my entire life, raised his voice at me. All he had to do was gimme a disappointed look and I'd start crying already so there's no need to scold me. Haha. Well, sometimes he did gimme a lecture about this and that. (Whether it actually sticks in my head is a different issue =p) Thinking about it makes me miss my dad. No matter how far apart we are, no matter what happens, I am always his daughter. It's in my blood, it's in my heart.

PKO - Bye bye MyrMidonS

As exam's getting nearer, everyone's getting busier including Hazmi and me. The constant demand from managing a guild in PKO has made Hazmi gave up his position as a guild leader. He handed over the honor to AkechiSamanosuke, a very active and trusted member from our previous guild. Hence, now we have a new guild called Prophecy. A mixed of new and old members, with a new name, searching for a new adventure. But the memories in MyrMidonS will be always remembered. ^^On a different topic, this is us, (back when we were still in MyrMidonS), in our "normal" wear. Recently, Hazmi bought us a new pair of apparel each. I like my new one but it's a bit "sexier" (since "my" belly button is now visible) and it makes me looks thinner and smaller (than I already am). Hazmi's one looks very... hmm... different. Not the knight in the shining armour look anymore. But very colourful. Hehe. Interesting =)

Happy 55 Months!

I know I should be studying right now but I just wanna write oneee short entry. All I want to say is Happy 55 months to Mr Mohd Hazmi and me. Love you so so so much. hehe. Can't wait to have you here. Muahs!

More about me

Continuation from the last entry

6) I'm scared of dogs

I think I'm qualified to be called a cynophobia. I don't really know why I fear them so much. It's not like I had a scary history with them or anything but my fear of dogs got worse here because there's just so many of them around.

7) I love roller coasters

This is my way of having fun... I enjoy the adrenalin rush moments when riding a roller coaster. Plain roller coasters aren't that exciting anymore. I want adventure... not accidents... just pure adventure on the ride.

8) I treasure my belongings

And because of that, I think, I'm quite possessive. This is quite related to #1. I know what I want. When I got it, I will usually treasure it. For example, I still use my Baby G watch that my dad gave me as a present when I was 15. I am still using my mechanical pencil I bought when I was 16. (I only have one mechanical pencil of that kind when my brother had about 10 that time. I don't think he even has 1 left now.) There are a few other watches and pencils but these particular ones are among the things I treasure. It may seem insignificant to you but I will definitely feel sad if my things are lost or broken. That's why I labeled my stuff when I was in school. Not that I think people would steal it, but it's easier for me to spot my stuff so that I don't have to constantly buy new ones. To put it simply, I treasure my belongings and take care of my stuff.

9) In the UK, I track my expenses and cash flow to the last penny

This is because of my limited budget. I barely had enough allowance in a month so I have to keep track of my expenses. It's just that I take it a little too seriously, knowing I don't remember what I have to pay and had paid, thanx to my short term memory. I recorded every single movement of my cash and bank transaction. What better way to put my knowledge into practice eh? However, I only do that here in the UK for now, not in Malaysia. Probably I'd start doing that later in Malaysia when I start earning my own money. hehe.

10) I don't like shopping

It is weird being a girl that dislikes shopping but growing up with my dad contributed to this trait. Or maybe it is just in my genes as people always say that I am a carbon copy of my dad. I take up mostly everything he likes or does. It's not that I don't go shopping at all. I still go shopping for the things I need or when I feel like spending some money but not as a hobby. Shopping, to me, is a very tiring activity. Some of my friends even commented that I shop like a guy. Come to think of it, that might be true. Ahh, I'm sure my bf's happy about that because he dislikes shopping more than I do.

11) I get cranky when I am sleepy or hungry

When I am sleepy but forced to stay up, I would start talking crap. Even I can't understand myself sometimes. My brain would not function at its best when I'm sleepy. Back when I was in TKC, if Nana Khairi came to my room to ask an add maths question after lights off, I would have to send her back and promise to go find her first thing in the morning. Even if I tried, my brain refuse to function without enough sleep. It's like a battery to a laptop. As for when I am hungry, I would keep on saying "hungry, hungry, hungry" consciously or unconsciously until I get my food. I'm like a small new born baby, crying for attention until it's fed. Do you think you can stand me??? A challenge up for grab. Haha

Well, 11 is enough for now. Tadaa...

About Me

I feel like starting a new section in my blog today. As the title suggest, it is About-me. Not only it would help you readers to know me better, it will also help me to improve myself and remind me what I am or was like. So for today's entry of about-me section:

1) I usually know what I want

When I want something, I only want that particular one. For example, when I first saw the latest version of Toyota Celica (I was a senior in high school then), I fell in love with it straight away. After nearly a decade, I am still deeply in love with the car. I do have crushes on some others like Mazda RX8 or Lamborghini Gallardo but I only want Toyota Celica!
The lastest example would be CIMB. I wanted to work for CIMB ever since I decided I don't want to do audit. I dreamt of going to work with my cousin (because she live and work nearby) MoNtHs before I submit my application. I nearly missed my chance because I thought they weren't coming to the UKEC careers fair (because I don't want to apply to other firms just to try my luck). That's how much I really want to work for them. At least for the near future. =)

2) I don't like to be disturbed when I am really watching something... be it movie or tv shows

Probably everyone doesn't like to be disturbed but I think it's quite bad in my case. I get really annoyed sometimes that I would totally block the person words from entering my thoughts. The "good" thing is... it only applies when I'm REALLY watching it. The problem is, I think, it is quite hard to tell when I am really watching something or just simple looking at it. The best thing to do is leave me alone for awhile until the show is over or wait for the commercials. Don't ask me questions unrelated to the show Unless it is important. (Fear of forgetting it later can be considered important =p haha) I just don't like ppl distracting me away from the show or give spoilers to what's going to happen Unless I ask for it

3) I have really bad memory

I tend to forget things easily unless I chose to store it in my long term memory box. In short, I have short term memory loss. Sometimes ppl get annoyed or irritated because of this but I really can't help it. For example, I asked Yat whether she had watched "The Prestige" or not when actually I went to see the movie with her. Lucky me, Yat understands me too well to take it personally.

4) I am very lazy

Do I need an explanation for this? I don't like studying... I don't like cooking. (But I love to eat) I don't like to exercise. (For health reason, that is... I might execise for fun like playing the dance mat or jumping around like crazy bunny though) I don't like to do anything at all that is not fun. For that, I am going to grow old fast... huhuu.

5) I am quite messy

This one is a follow up from the 4th one... since I am lazy, I don't keep my things neatly. It is all over the place. But I only accept my own mess because although it is very messy, there is still a system to it. For example, when I went back home and my room was not as I left it before, I was sooo restless that I had to clean it up immediately and then... make my OWN mess. haha.

This post just shows how lazy I am. The paragraphs are getting shorter and shorter. I am very hungry right now... I will write more soon.

My Dream Wedding!

I admit I am a bit weird. For instance, I wanted to highlight my hair striking blue, though it's actually meaningless to some people since I wear "tudung", no one could actually see it. What do I care? I want it for myself. Another story, when I went to Kelantan for Abg Mi's (Hazmi's bro) engagement, Kak Ina (Hazmi's sister) asked me what is my dream wedding. At first, I was a bit reluctant to tell them coz it IS a bit weird. She thought I wanted a beautiful wedding like Cinderella with white horses and everything. But instead I said, I want to have a simple wedding dinner at a hall, followed by a gig, and I want to sing myself. A gig party for my wedding. So unromantic eh? After that conversation, I never thought of any other dream wedding.

Today, I had a conversation with Nadia and we were talking about everything under the sun including future plans and weddings. A story of a friend's wedding came up. About half a platun attended this girl's wedding wearing sea cadets uniform. I'm assuming that was how they knew the bride because she was a very active sea cadet and it seems that they are very patriotic and attached to it. Sure is impressive. Then it suddenly hit me. Hazmi is considering to be a police inspector. So I might be able to expect a police wedding ceremony. Owh... I want to walk under an array of swords... That would be cool... I want that! I want that!!! If police don't have swords, I don't mind walking under a handful of M16 guns. haha.

Since this one is more realistic than the first one (because it is not all that weird), probably it would substitute the gig. (Hazmi's parents also had this wedding because his dad used to be in the police force.) But if possible, Can I have both? 1 for my side => the gig, and 1 for his side => the procession. Uh wee... I like ^_^

Pop Goes My Heart

I like this video. It's so retro & funny. LOL

CIMB! Here I come...

I would really like to write a long entry but I don't have that much time since I haven't started studying yet. I actually have a lot to talk about but lost the excitement already. Haha. Long story short, I got a conditional offer from CIMB! Thanx to everyone who helped me through the application process... you know who you are. From checking my CV, giving me possible interview questions to being my "wingman" on the interview day itself, THANK YOU! Love you all. hehe. All I need now is a 2:1 for my degree... Then I'm all set to go. Wish me luck ^^

Just stress

hihi. I have now figured out my problem. I am just experiencing the same thing I experience every year around this point of time... my annual stress period. Thanx to Aida who pointed out an article about it in the Beaver this week... Apparently it is not so uncommon to feel this way at this point of time. I was just saying I need someone or something to comfort me in the last entry. It somehow made me miss my high school friends. I miss the time when there would always be someone to comfort and support me. Yes, things are different now. For one thing, I have a bf but it's simply not the same. He is sweet and kind and caring but he kinda dislikes weak people. He would be there to support me when I need motivation, when I am being simply spoilt wanting his attention, but he won't give me support when I am in a fragile state like this. Not just me actually... anyone in this state. Well, in a way, it's not totally his fault. It's just a trait. Like my trait for being quite weak under pressure. Anyway, back to my story, I was thinking about the old times, being surrounded by my ever supportive friends, who persevered through my constant whining and crying. Then, I suddenly realized, at least one friend is still around. Yat!!! hehe. Just wanna say thank you. You cheered up my day. Hahaha... Now, I'm laughing again.

T_T

For those of you who are unfamiliar with emoticons, the title simply symbolises *crying*. Well, I am not literally crying right now but I think I'm crying for help. The problem is I don't know who should I turn to. Usually, I'd turn to my mum but I don't want her to worry about me. Thought of calling my dad but I'm not so sure whether he would be the right person to speak to. My best friends... I don't think they can say anything much about what I am going through. My bf... hmm, don't quite feel like talking to him now. Somehow I find his flirting annoys me these past few days. Not just that, whenever I point it out, he says "sorry, sory, sorry" without actually mean it. I mean, he says sorry but he's actually not sorry at all. He would just keep doing it again, which would annoy me even more. But that's not my problem right now. I can't be bothered to face my issue with him right now coz I have a bigger problem in hand.
My problem is I think... I think... I'm nearing a nervous breakdown. I have no motivation to do anything. I have no direction. I am in no mood to study. I am panicking with my work. I am panicking about exam. I am... ahhh... I am breaking down. Urgh, I HATE it when I am in a fragile state like this. I need motivation. I need someone or something to comfort me. I need a councellor. Damn, I'm weak. I need to be strong T_T