Risk averse

I am finally following up with my plan to take up the interest-only-package loan, initially intended to settle hubby's PTPTN loan. Now I am just taking it to take advantage of the (dividend-interest) income. *tamak* I will stick to my new year reso to pay PTPTN consistently for the time being since the interest/admin fee is relatively low so I will just invest current ?available? excess fund credit elsewhere.

I decided not to apply this loan for hubby coz 1) I do not want him to be committed to a big monthly fixed payment at the moment hence I would have to take a smaller amount of loan, which would bring a very low return. 2) The hassle that we have to go through to apply for him: the 5% downpayment (he is not eligible to take 100% loan as he is self-employed with no payslip/tax return documents), providing all the SSM documents, a few bank statements, opening new account for standing instructions and to top them all, I would be the one doing the application and management thereafter is just a bit too stressful. So I will take it under my name. Easier.

During morning briefing today, I saw my classmate during our MT programme gave update on the FX market as he usually does. He is now an FX trader, just what he wanted to be since back then. I WANTED to be a trader but didn't have enough guts to enter the market and fight for the position. It hit me this morning: I am very Risk-Averse. Not a good trait for a trader actually. Haha. Money desk, where I am currently at now, is actually the best place for me to be. While I am loading myself with all these ASB loans, which are pretty risk less, my friends have started venturing out into stock market, mutual funds, private ventures etc... All of these are definitely riskier. High Risk, High Return. Basic right?

When will I get there, I don't know. Possibly when I have extra fund, which I cannot invest in any safe investment anymore. That is a long way to go. For now, let's just keep whatever little money I have SAFE. Hehe.

LIFE as it is...

This is actually a prelude of why I actually thought about all those things I wrote yesterday. Like I said I watched too much Grey's and DH last weekend, which led me to think about MY life so here's some season 7 spoilers you may not want to read.

Greys

Christina Yang is one of the best Year 4 Residents there in Seattle Grace. After the shooting incident (season 6 finales) she was traumatised until she actually quit her job. Having that good a surgeon, a cardiothoracic surgeon, quit and be a waitress/housewife instead is indeed a waste but what if that is actually what she wants to do???

DH

Lynette was one successful career woman. She put her career on hold once to care for the family and let the husband support the family instead. One day her college friend came to visit her and told us that Lynette was voted "The Most Likely To Be Successful" back in college. And she commented, "Look at you now". The friend, if I'm not mistaken was voted "The Most Likely To Marry Rich", which she did. She's rich and very fashionable etc.

So that was why I suddenly had time to reflect on MY life. I am glad to know that I am happy. If I could turn back time, would I choose a different career that could probable make me more money. No, I don't think so. I'm fine where I am now. And it wasn't my intention to brag about my grades in school or the extra curricular activities. My intention was the opposite actually. This advice is not going to be good for kids but this is my take in life. Sure your grades are important but it's not the only thing that matters in life. If you don't do that well in exam, if you short a few grades to get into the best university, it's NOT the end of the world. Rezeki orang di mana2. Rezeki masing2 tak sama. Life is what you make of it. So live your life to the fullest. Different people find happiness in different things in life so just because they may not seem rich and successful to you, it doesn't mean that they are not happy. That said, have a good day, everyone! ^_^

My life as it is...

I don't have internet at home so whenever I feel like blogging or have an idea on what to blog about I would just stall it until I get into office. Last weekend was a long 4 day-weekend due to CNY holidays. I spent most of my time at home, with Saturday in my KL home when hubby went to work. Naturally I just wanted to curl up, watch TV, catch up with the never ending house work etc and TRY to do a little bit of studying in between. Somehow, maybe due to the effect of watching TOO MUCH Grey's Anatomy & Desperate Housewives series, I had time to reflect on life... My life. The question of whether I am happy now?

*The entry is a bit too long so if you are too lazy to read, just skip the whole thing and go to the last paragraph. That should summarize everything.*

I must admit I am blessed through out my life. Despite my difficult childhood, I did have it good in all other aspects. What I am about to type I think will come out a bit perasan so bear with me a little. This is all that has been playing out in my head yesterday. In my primary school days, I think my bestfriend and I are among the "famous" girls in school. Mostly because we are loud and we mixed with boys. "Famous" I say because kids in school like to tease both of us by pairing us up with all the "famous" boys. Plus it was a very small school. No, both of us didn't have any bf then. My philosophy was why would I need a bf now? Pretty useless to be in a "committed relationship" at that time, don't you think? Needless to say, I scored top grades all year round. I was always top in my class and the worst I got in my whole 6 years in primary school was top 10 for the whole standard. Pretty good, yes but I guess despite all that I lacked leadership skills (although I was a prefect, I was not the head girl or anything) and I was pretty rough for a girl, getting into fights all the time.

Then I went to a boarding school for my secondary education. Being in one of the top girls boarding schools in the country, my grades became average among the rest. I was not the best anymore and for awhile I found it difficult to adapt... no boys for me to beat up or get into a fight with. As time passed by, I studied harder to get into the best class (to be with one of my bestfriends), which I did, took up more responsibilities along the way, became quieter because of that, but again, still did not hold any top post in school. I dated... not really but went out with people... but again refused to be committed in a relationship as I felt that I was not ready although sometimes I did feel a bit lonely inside. But being committed to my studies and extra-curricular activites kept me busy and occupied. Left school with straight A1s for my SPM.

Left TKC, went to MMU for awhile before I got my JPA scholarship (where I got to know and befriended my hubby in real life instead of virtually) and later enrolled myself into KMYS for my A-Levels. Here, my grades again became average... not because I didn't do well. I still scored straight As for my A-Levels. Still managed to get an A for my maths though I did HORRIBLY for my paper 4 because I had a fight with my then bf (my hubby now) the night before. I was average because I had to struggle to score and everyone else was just very good, smart and so much better. However, to my amazement, I manage to finally hold a top post, not the college students' council but I was at least the house captain. It was something.

And as you might have guessed, it was after I left school that I was finally ready to be in a relationship. It was a whirlwind, crazy, awkward relationship. Both of us were first-timers with this relationship thingy. It was hard trying to reconcile the differences on how a guy & a girl thinks/feels, both coming for a single-sex school background. Our relationship only officially began after I went to KMYS, which means we were in a LDR for 5 years. 2 years while I was doing A-Levels and 3 years while I was doing my degree. It was the craziest, most happening phase in my life. For the first time, I was really happy, at the same time I could be REALLY sad when we got into a fight, which was all too often. But we worked things out and managed to hold the relationship together.

I came back from the UK, got my degree, work for 2 years before we finally tied the knot. I would say with all the good grades, straight As, excellent extra-curricular records, I actually now lead a pretty average life, nothing outstanding about it. I must say I should be thankful with all the blessings I have, but all those achievements before don't really matter now. True, it got my to where I am now. I am MOST thankful for that. I earn enough to make a living out of it. But what matters most to me now is that I am happily married to the love of my life, happy to be leading a boring life in the suburb with him. Happy to cuddle all day long. Happy to hug him to sleep and to wake up with him by my side. I am not outstanding in any way anymore and I am happy. It is bad actually, I think because people kept telling me that they have high hopes for me. Whatever~ If the opportunity comes along, great! It not, I would like to say I feel contented with my life now. Okay. I do hope bigger things happen to me... getting a big project/raise/promotion whatever, but for now, I am just happy. =)