Hey peeps. This the 5th time I went (6th time paying) for a CFA exam. And by far is the MOST challenging one of the lot. I'm not referring to the difficulty of the paper but to the things that happened to me prior to the exam.
1) As you know, my dad passed away a month ago, halfway through a revision class I paid for. I had to skip one day from the 3-day course, which means I missed out on two very important topics: Financial Reporting Analysis and Corporate Finance.
2) It took me about a week or so to recover from the mourning phase and then my stepmom brought up about the asset issue. She told me sad stories about how my dad was short on cash bla bla bla... I fell for it and felt really sad that he never told me all about this money issue. I even told my stepmom to give me her account number if things get too tight for them later. I went back and cannot stop thinking about it and it made me so miserable. Until I kidnap my mom and told her everything that was on my mind. That was the best decision ever because moms are the BEST. She helped me see through things and think more rationally. It was such an eye opener. Whatever hardship they think they are going through now, we have been through worse. Yes, mom was right. Actually my dad managed his assets well. He left behind 3 properties and minimal debt. Maybe not a lot of cash as one would hope, but I assure you, it is enough to last them a few YEARS if they manage it well. Here I am, trying to make ends meet while raising a young family. I have debts here and there. Why do I need to worry about them when I actually need to worry about myself more!!! On top of that, she told me she won't ask my uncle about the piece of land my dad shared with his brother. But a week later, she asked me to go back to Perlis with her to talk to my uncle about the land. Urghhh... Cakap tak serupa bikin. I didn't ask for my portion of the assets my dad left. Why do you need the land so bad. When people say you are materialistic, you denied but here you are clearly showing your character. Hide it a bit la. Very ugly la. I did say I will file the necessary papers for the land but now when I see how desperate she wants it, I'm going to leave it as it is. Everyone can go fly kite. I don't care about it anymore.
3) My blackberry broke down last week. The screen just went blank. Fine. I don't need it anyway since I use it only to BBM people. Wednesday, I broke my baby's Samsung Galaxy Tab. It was beyond repair. And I panicked because she has grown attached to that toy of hers. So Thursday I went to Endah Parade with hubby to buy her a new cheap tablet, brand: Ainol. Never heard the name before but was supposed to be good for cheap tablets range. Today, that screen went blank. Adeihhh...
4) I got conjunctivitis a week before exam and it took so long to recover that I had to go to exam with red-eyes. It means limited eye activities during the whole week when I was supposed to be studying!
5) Last but not least, last night around mid-night, Tricia was sitting at my study table "writing" on my notes. Hubby was making his signature drink in the kitchen. I walked 7 feet away from her to watch The Karate Kid that was on TV. 30 seconds later, out of nowhere, Tricia started crying so loud. We were so worried because we didn't know what happened to her. I checked all my stationery: pens, eraser, pencil lead, pen caps... everything was intact. So she did not swallow anything. We checked her mouth.. every inch of it... her throat... her pampers... her legs... nothing... no cut, no blood, no mark... but she still didn't stop crying. I let her go a few times... Hoping that she would point out which part was painful as she can now say "sakit". We kept asking her to show it to us but she just continued crying. Hubby suggested taking her out for a drive. To our disappointment, the crying did not stop. Hubby suggested going for an X-ray just to be sure she didn't swallow anything. At that point of time, I was up for anything. I just couldn't bear looking at her suffering like that. But on the way to the hospital, hubby finally said it... Maybe she "saw" something. Well, maybe... Who knows. So hubby put on Yasin and like magic, the crying stop. She finally drank her milk and went to sleep. That was such a relieve. But it was 1am. Whatever energy, enthusiasm I had for the exam before had evaporated. Vanished. It was just too much to bear in such a short span of time.
The exam I think was quite a disaster for me. If it was one of my uni papers, I am quite confident I would have passed it, not with flying colours, of course, but a pass is very possible. But this is the CFA exam we are talking about, where 144K of people are sitting for it worldwide and only about 30% or so pass the respective levels. So irregardless whether I score 40% or 60%, I have more chances of failing that not. Whatever. I told myself this before I sat for the exam: With the amount of things I had to go through before the exam, I forgive myself if I fail the paper. We'll just try again if we feel like it. If not, let's just forget it. I just don't have that energy anymore. At least, not now.
