A state of happiness

I don't want to talk about this coz this is very personal but I want to pen this down somewhere as a record, as a memory... so here I am writing in my "diary".

Dear Diary,

At this point of time in my life, I am feeling so damn happy and lucky to be dating this ReALLy rEallY GREAT guy. And God's willing, we are soon gonna be engaged and hopefully making it official on paper to build our life together by the end of next year. I am SoOoO happy and EsTaTiC that he has been SO SO SWEET lately, that sometimes it makes me feel guilty thinking that I might probably not making him feel the same way. Sometimes I am also scared that I might screw this up because to me, now, this is just perfect. I don't want to spoil this in any way, like what happened to some of my friends, intentionally and especially accidentally. I am confident that I would not intentionally hurt him in AnY way but I hope the latter won't Ev3R take place. Like any typical girl, I pray that he won't hurt me and break my heart as is typically seen in real lives and movies. But I also hope he is not reading this because I don't want him to be scared or knows that I am scared or thinks that I am so clingy and change his mind. (Though I think he would one day come across this and if he actually/when he eventually does, I hope this article wouldn't change a bit of what it is today). Of course, there will be some ups and downs, but I hope we will get through anything together and stay strong forever.

I just finished watching "Definitely, Maybe", a story about a father, who is heading for a divorce, relating his love stories to his young daughter. When he said "The happy ending is I have you", I started crying. (Yes, I am always a bit soapy when it comes to this). Then it got me thinking... I have been crying almost half of my childhood, wishing everything would be better one day and now... it is... FiNaLLy it is... and I really really hope it would last... FoREv3R. To you, Mohd Hazmi Abdul Halim, though I am wishing you would not find this, if you do, please remember that you are the love of my life, my very one and only. And I can only thank God for sending you right to me. I love you with all my heart! Thank you~

xoxo,

me