Motherly Instinct

Morning ppl!!! (Although I am sure most of you would not be reading this in the morning) Our trip up north was fantastic. Maybe not to the rest of the troop but it was to me. Hehe. Well, the trip didn't quite turn out as planned. When we arrived, we were told that Azmir and Mimi were not on the guest list. Even after the staff arrived and managed to find a place for both of them, all 4 of us were placed in different rooms! So much for a romantic getaway. Since it was already late and Azmir really wanted to meet the DJ and join the event, we stayed for prayers and dinner before we head out to find a place to stay. Initially went to Marina (thanks Sarr for suggesting the place) but ended up with a room in Teluk Batik Resort instead since Marina was left with only a one-bedroom-apartment or a 3-bedroom-apartment.

The place was so so but it was enough for us to just sleep and rest. On the way back, we actually went to Kellie's castle (cuti2 Malaysia la katekan) and detoured to Cameron Highlands. Each of us had a cup of tea or two at Boh Plantations. The scenery was breath taking (really?). Hehe. Pictures are with Mimi since my camera decided to take time off during this whole trip.

Anyway, while on the way to Damai Laut, we obviously chit-chatted about everything under the sun. Then, I brought up the baby issue. Everyone around me is having or looking forward to having a baby but I just don't feel ready yet. Mimi shared her boss' advice with me, which I will share with you guys here today. (I hope she doesn't mind.) Her boss told her, "There is never a "right" time to have a baby". True enough now you are working to establish your career but when you are more established, your responsibility will get bigger and it will make it harder for you to have more time for yourself and family. So when you want to have one, just go for it and learn to make your time around it. Okay. Something like that. Somehow or rather the message gets to me... I find the statement enlightening.

On top of that, I do think my job now is somewhat permitting me to have more time for myself. I am not saying I am working government hours now but it is much better here from another deparment I was with. Then comes the next question, how can I think to have a baby NOW when I have made plans with other ppl to have baby next year. Haha. Okay. That is silly. That should be the least of my concern. However, to my surprise, one of my best friends, whom I made a pledge with to get pregnant next year together, told me last night, that they (she and hubby) are leaving it to fate instead of planning... which means she is ditching the plan before me already. Hmm. Should I?

I don't quite fancy children and do not find them that much adorable especially when they are crying or acting out. But when hubby is constantly amazed by his niece's and nephew's progress, when he kept repeating and imitating what the kids say, I must admit that I somehow feel a tiny pinch of jealousy that he is excited to follow the growth of someone's else child instead of his own (of course he can't coz we don't have one yet!). I guess I am feeling that coz it feels like he won't be as excited as he is now, with his own child's growth when we have one, coz it won't be the first time he sees all these things later.

But when I ask him yesterday... his concerns now are economic stability (hmm, not my VERY main concern) and commitment (to the baby) as in no more "us" time and impromptu romantic getaway. Hmm, didn't quite expect that from him so case closed.