A couple of weeks ago, I rushed back to Perlis after receiving a call from my cousin. Her husband, in his late twenties, passed away from a car accident. She... is 4 months pregnant with their first child. In my opinion, she was surprisingly strong. I, without doubt, would not be able to pull that kind of strength to face that situation. Several times, I tried to imagine me being in her shoes, I just end up in tears. Through out my few hours visit, she calmly told me what happened, answered questions and accompanied me to the husband's fresh grave. I, on the other hand, could not think of a word that is powerful enough to comfort her or tell her that everything is going to be okay. All I could do was give her a hug and tell her to take care.
On another chapter, today is the third day Hazmi has been away from Malaysia. He went to Bangkok to celebrate his graduation with his ex-housemates. Given the super expensive rate to call home, I am "barred" from calling him (or rather "barred" from disturbing his happy moments with his friends). Of course, I am not trying to hi-jack his happiness. In fact, I wish him all the joy in the world. Plus, it is not like I would die from not talking to him. Or would I? No... I am still alive but I feel like all my life has been sucked out of my face. Life is just dull without him in it. If I were to be the one there, I would definitely swallowed the cost to just hear his voice for a minute everyday. I am SUPER addicted to him. The fact is, it is him there now. I can't just call him anytime I like. That would just ruin his super fun trip. I want to let him go and have fun but i miss him so much. Why the hell I have to feel this way. Sob. Sob. I wish I'm not that dependant on him as I am now.
3 comments:
Sometimes you just can't help being dependant on the ones you love :)
true dat. 'nuff said.
celebrate graduation kt thailand??best gile ok! nk join gak. aku pon nk convo gak nnt :D
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