Broga Hill

Hubby had been telling me (more like bugging me) that he wanted to go hiking. When he said either at Gunung Angsi or Broga Hill, I straight away agreed to Broga Hill. Reasons being 1) I know there will be a lot more people at Broga Hill and 2) I think Broga Hill would be an easier hike than Gunung Angsi. (I had no idea where Angsi is... Hubby told me it is near Ulu Bendul.) Wanted to go the weekend before but he was not well and I was not prepared, so we decided to go last Saturday morning. I woke up as early as 4am to prepare our egg-mayo sandwich and woke hubby up only at 4.30pm. Bags packed, fed baby (who was left with her tanter Abby) and off we go at just a little after 5am.

Reached there before 6 but we stopped for subuh prayer at the nearby Petronas station. We started our journey up around 6.20-6.30am and we reached there just before 7am.

Starting our journey

Journey up

Sunrise

Us at the top

Accident (part 2)

Alhamdulillah. That guy who hit my car the other day was a very responsible guy. Since I sent my car in for repair, I did not call him at all. And the car took sooo long to be repaired by Proton. After nearly a week, Mr Lee actually called ME and asked about the status of my car. The day after, when I told him I collected my car from the workshop already, he actually wanted to come and see me but due to work commitment, he couldn't. So I told him that he could just bank in the money, which he did. I am just grateful that my car got hit by a responsible guy like him, not someone who would just run away when clearly he had the chance to. Yeay to honest and responsible Malaysian like him!

March blues

I cried driving home last night. Tears came rolling down after my boss called me in to explain it to me. Called hubby but he was not available to talk. He said "see you at home" but I know I won't be in the mood to talk about it once I reached home. The problem was very personal so I can't just call some random people to talk about it. After hubby, the one person that could light up my day is my baby girl. You are my sunshine, my life, my everything. So I drove back to her as fast as my car could take me. When I got home, she smiled at me, whined when I hugged her to sleep and held my hand. That was all I need. Maybe "this" is the price to pay for such a beautiful, beautiful thing in my life. You are a beautiful blessing given to me, my dearest baby girl. And it was such a small price to pay in exchange of these precious moments with you. 

So for the record, although it was not great, although it was really upsetting, I am still thankful for the blessings I have in my life. It was not as bad as I think it was. And it definitely could have been worse. I just don't take failure too well but I need to learn to be thankful and appreciate the things that I do have in my life. For we are only human... everything can be taken away from you in a blink of an eye. So do spend some time appreciating the things most dearest to you and not focusing on the things you don't have. But of course, after I recover myself, I will need to strive hard to make it better. Not mope around and be left behind.

Tricia dah "sunat"

Hubby requested I blog about this event. Not that I won't but the fact that he requested it should mean that it is pretty important. He wants Tricia to read about this one day. Yesterday, 21/03/12, Tricia was 4 months and 11 days old. I took leave to bring Tricia for her so-called "circumcision". I said so-called with the inverted commas because it is not like what we do to the boys. It is just a small cut done down there (don't ask me specifically where because I didn't dare to look yesterday) just buat cukup syarat. I initially thought it was just customary to the culture, not a religious requirement. But after some research done with Abby, we found out that it is actually sunat to khatankan girls. So I decided to just do it. Asked Kak Azah and she did Qysteena's at Klinik Sariah in Bandar Baru Nilai.

I was nervous... When we arrived, Dr Sariah was not around. Apparently, she does the night shift. Dr Zaiton was on duty. After much thought, and since we were already there, we decided to just do it with her. People told me that the Dr will only use a needle to perform the procedure. But when I entered the Dr's room, there was this metal container with a metal scissors in it. (Panic!) So I just held Tricia's hand and stared at her face. She was looking and smiling at me. Guilt crept inside of me. (Soon she will feel the pain and not want to smile at me anymore. But we had to do it, my dear. It is sunat.) Her father was looking at what the Dr was doing. But within a minute, it was all done. Tricia didn't even cry! I was so relieved and proud. Dr commented, "terdiam die sekejap". But that was it. I didn't dare to look at the cut or whether there was blood but the maid told me there was no blood at the pampers when she changed it later. Lega... ^_^

Well done, Immigration Department of Malaysia

I just want to do a quick shout out to our Immigration Department of Malaysia / Jabatan Imigresen Malaysia. Went to do Batrisyia's passport last 25th February 2012 (Saturday) at the Presint 15, Putrajaya branch (They are open half-day on Saturdays and Sundays now) and they were very efficient! We were given an express number since we had a baby with us but silly me, I submitted hubby's application separately so I had to take another number to renew hubby's passport. Even after the mixed-up, it didn't take us too long. Went there around 10-ish and after taking the passport picture, filling in the form and queueing (twice), we got it all done by 12pm. Came back the next day to pick the both passports as we were too hungry to wait that same day.
Bravo! You prove that government agency can be efficient too. Here's my baby girl's passport picture. ^_^ Baru 3 bulan lebih dah ade passport.

Please turn off the lights, mama.

Last night, I came home quite late. Since my car is currently in the workshop, hubby had to pick me up. We went for dinner and went to repair hubby's spectacles before we headed home. The maid was busy trying to make Tricia sleep. (If I typed "put her to sleep", would it sound like the maid was trying to kill her?) So I picked her up, carried her around while her father was having his supper at the kitchen, then brought her up to our room. She looked sleepy but at the same time it was like she was trying to say something. I gave her the pacifier, which reduced the protest a bit but she was still making some dissatisfied sound until I turned off the lights. Right after the lights were turned off, she straight away closed her eyes and went to sleep. Senang jaga anak mama nih. Sayang sangat lah!

Accident

I got into a minor accident today. It wasn't major at all. I was driving my normal route to work this morning and suddenly I felt the car jolted, in front of the TUDM airport. Initially I thought I failed to balance the fuel injection into my manual-transmission car's engine. Then I thought, it couldn't have jerked that bad. So I looked at my rear-view mirror and noticed that the car behind me was extremely close to mine. Oh my. First time got into an accident alone. 

So I went down, took the guy's number, asked for his card (he didn't have one), took picture of both cars and drove off. Just like that. He promised he would cover the repair cost and everything but who knows. Hard to find honest people on the road these days. I also didn't press for anything that time and that is clearly my fault. Reason being, I hate to fight. When it is unnecessary like this, I would just avoid it. Unnecessary compared to the trouble I had to go through dragging him to the police station or made him pay me on the spot. I was alone and late to work. And to me, it wasn't that bad. If I had to cover the cost myself, I could probably afford it... UNTIL I was told that the estimated repair cost is around RM1K (550 for bumper, 380 for paint job and labour charges, around 100 for plate holder). Oh God. Pengsan.

I called back this guy. His name is Mr Lee by the way. (I don't know why people kept asking me the guy's race... Quit being racist people.) And told him about the estimated cost. He checked with another Proton service centre and was told that the cost would be more or less the same. What I didn't expect was, he asked me to share the cost with him =_=. Okay. That was direct. I said since I'm a bit broke at the moment, I am only willing to top up around RM100... since he asked for it. So his total cost should be around RM900. Yeah. Yeah. I should NOT have done that. But I was in a good mood and my day could have just gotten worse than that so to me it was not that bad. So I sent in my car just now... The mechanic warned me to get the payment first BEFORE I sent the car in for repair. But again... so not worth my trouble.

My car

His car (no scratch at all)

Terengganu Trip (July 2011) - Camy's wedding & Babymoon at Redang Island

Read Kak Jane's blog yesterday and realised that I don't update my blog as often as I should (no matter how many times I said I would). I went travelling a lot especially when I was studying in the UK but entries tagged "Vacation" were like less than 10! Even THAT includes vacations in Malaysia. Went through my old entries and found a couple of untagged vacation posts but even after re-tagging, there were still a lot of unwritten entries... Soon-to-be forgotten memories.

Let's not waste time. Time to catch up with my really delayed vacation posts. First up - Terengganu Trip (2nd - 5th July 2011) Months before July, Camy announced that she will be getting married and invited us to her wedding in Terengganu. Since I would be done with my exam that month, the girls and I decided to go for a holiday in Pulau Redang. Irna was our travel leader for this trip and anything to do with Redang was arranged by her.

As usual, I brought my mom and my bro along. (Mom hardly goes anywhere if it is not for work.) With that, my car was already full. Everyone else arranged their own transportation, mostly flew there. Camy took a comfortable 4-bedroom homestay for all of us to stay in Kuala Terengganu but the girls ditched me and my family so we got the whole big house to ourselves.

Since we went our own ways, we had dinner separately from the girls that night. Went round and round the area until hubby stopped at the police station! to ask where is the best place to have dinner. I don't remember the name of this shop but it was situated under the bridge and it was yummm.

The next day, we made our way to Pulau Redang for our vacation! We stayed at Redang Holiday Beach Villa and we took Semi-D Bungalow with seaview. ^_^

The first day there was spent relaxing, enjoying the view from our chalet. After dinner, we went to the beach to find "the blue sand", which are actually planktons that glow when rubbed, and found them! Irna was so excited because she didn't get to see them during our last trip here. We continued our walk until we reached Laguna beach resort and stayed there for awhile for drinks while eating kuaci.

The next day, after breakfast, we went to the marine park. Aizat arrived with Babar and his friend but couldn't make it to the marine park together. When we arrived, everyone went for a swim except me. Since I was 5 months pregnant that time, my gynae didn't allow me to go snorkelling. Initially, I sat quietly reading my book on the beach but after half-an-hour I jumped into the sea. Well she did say "Can swim but no snorkelling". Ironically, I arrived at the platform in the middle of the sea earlier that some who had been swimming way before me. =p Yeay, pregnant woman. Haha. After some rest in the evening, we spent some time on the beach again.

I know the pictures don't do justice to the beauty of nature over there and the fun that we had. Most pictures were taken by some more expensive cameras than mine but unfortunately I only have these few. But all in all, I had SO MUCH FUN over there with both my family and my girls. This trip was also my babymoon trip, our "honeymoon" together before the baby arrives. It was definitely a good break for me and for all of us.

Before we head back to KL on Tuesday, we made a pit-stop to meet Norul's new born baby, Adrian Jazreen Zidane bin Ahmad Khairul Naim.

Monday Blues

I miss you already la, si kecik.

Back to work

Hey people. I am back at work now. Hello computer and internet connection. First day back, both baby and I were doing fine UNTIL I tried to call home during lunch time. Both Kak Ina and Abby were still asleep and out of the blue I just cried thinking of my baby. No, I was not worried. I just missed her so much! When Abby tweeted pic of my Tricia and Kak Ina called back to let me "talk" to her, it made me miss her ever more.

Came home from work on the second day, Tricia was still sleeping. Apparently she had been sleeping the whole day. Tried to wake her up but she just made so much noise that after we fed her, we let her sleep again. Came home from dinner around midnight and there she was, eyes wide open. Around 1.30am, I was already too tired to play with her so I asked hubby to take over. Apparently, he was just as tired so he passed the "baton" to abby, my beloved sis-in-law. When I woke up the next morning, I panicked when I saw Tricia's empty babycot. Found her sleeping in the guestroom with Abby. Tonight, no matter what time she sleeps, I will take care of her. I must.

Been reading an article on babycenter today and I would love to highlight some interesting quotes.

Big Story: How love blossoms between you and your child

1)Note: It's impossible to "spoil" a baby with love, attention, and affection, says Emma Adam, a developmental psychologist at Northwestern University. When you comfort your child, you're building a foundation of trust and affection that will last a lifetime. 

2) "It seems contradictory, but the more security you give your child, the more independent she can become," says Adam, the Northwestern University psychologist.

69 days

That number looks obscene. It probably is.

Guilt over not breastfeeding

When I was pregnant, I was very determined to fully breast-feed (bf) my baby once she's born. Sadly, it didn't materialize. She refused to latch on me, possibly because of the short nipple that I have. Tried my very best to not introduce formula milk to the baby in her early days. Forced her to bf on me and agreed to let her latch on my cousin's wife, her "ibu susu", but we didn't (and still don't) live nearby so we couldn't really rely on her.

The first few days, I only produced like 6 drops of colostrum from every pumping session. Only on day 5, a day after my massage session, that I finally started to produce milk. By then, she was already on formula. Since she still refused to latch, I pumped like mad, especially when we found out that she had jaundice. I either fed her EBM exclusively using a bottle or I mixed it in her formula milk. I felt like a milking cow. At week 1, Manoq suggested I get the nipple shield. It worked for awhile but with everything that was going on at that moment, I felt more comfortable pumping. It was a very very very stressful period and I cried like mad. Some people's comments just made me felt worse.

After nearly 2 weeks, I produced around 1 oz of milk from every pumping session. Joy. However, as the baby's need started to increase, my milk production stayed the same. At 3 weeks, it went to 3/4 oz and later it went to half. At 1 month,  I just stopped.

At week 7, I received my weekly email from baby center and it was very comforting to read this.

Your life: Guilt over not breastfeeding

Today's society puts a lot of pressure on new moms to breastfeed. No doubt breast milk is the perfect first food. However, there are many reasons why breastfeeding just doesn't work for some women and their babies, including illness, discomfort, and frustration. Guilt over not breastfeeding can hit especially hard if you had planned during pregnancy to do so but then circumstances made it impossible or more difficult than you'd expected. Both breast milk and commercial formula nourish growing babies. If you've given up on breastfeeding — or are thinking of doing so — be sure to discuss your choice with your doctor or a certified lactation consultant. Talk through your feelings and don't be too hard on yourself. The main thing to remember is that how you feed your baby is ultimately not as important as providing love and care.

Well, I did see a lactation consultant recently. Not for myself and my baby, but to accompany my sister-in-law (SIL) who is due soon. She couldn't bf her first baby so she wanted to seek more help for her second one. I am all excited to support her after what I had been through. After my SIL session, the lactation consultant had a look at my baby and found out that she has a tied tongue that made it difficult for her to latch on to me. So it was not just one factor but a few factors combined that made it so difficult for us. It's okay, sayang. Just know that I love you very very much no matter what. As for me, better luck next time. ^-^

Happy New Year! 2012 is here

I haven't been blogging for awhile. With no internet connection on a proper computer, it is quite difficult to do so.

So... 2011 left us already. I feel like my only achievement last year was to conceive and give birth to my child. No other significant achievement; no career advancement, didn't pass my CFA level 2 exam. Needless to say, I still need to be thankful. Not everyone is blessed with a child even if they really want to.

Let's talk about resolution now. I am bored with 'I want to study harder for my CFA' while 'I want to be a good mother' is actually given irregardless whether it is a new year or not. Initially settled to not have one until I went out with hubby on the new year. We went for drinks and live band at Concorde Hotel sans baby, who was left with my dearest mummy. That night, it crossed my mind. So I decided that my new year resolution this year is to start wearing make up and heels. Ahaqs. Happy new year, everyone!

Period post-pregnancy

A lot of things I didn't blog about post-pregnancy. Mainly because I didn't have internet connection and secondly because some things look a bit too personal to be posted online. Things that I should have so that I can later compare with my next pregnancy/child birth experience. I suddenly remembered one important detail that I need to jot down. My period. Since I couldn't directly breastfeed my baby, I pumped. Even then, my milk production stopped when Tricia was about 1 month old. I was supposed to go for my post-natal check up 6 weeks/42 days after I gave birth. However, I had to reschedule because I got my period a couple of days before that. If I'm not mistaken, at 40 days after pregnancy.

The other thing is darah nifas. I was able to mandi wajib and start praying before my period resumed. So that was around 35 days maybe? Not too sure about the exact date now but I remember it was quite early. Although some people didn't believe me when I said my nifas period was over and my period cycle resumed,  I believe it is what it is. Who is to say my nifas period was too short. I had asked around earlier and it varies from woman to woman and mine was within the normal range. I'm going to back-date this post if I can because today is 26th January 2013.

I'm officially a citizen!

A proud Malaysian! ^_^

Heart-breaker

At 9 days old, she already made 3 people cry, including me. Please don't grow up to be a heart-breaker, baby.

The Final Push

This is the final journey of my first pregnancy.

On 10th November, the day I was supposed to be admitted, I had some blood show in the morning. Although I was only supposed to "check-in" at 6pm, mummy insisted that I go the hospital asap as she said, that was a sign of my cervics dilating. From Nilai, hubby and I went back to Bangi for some last minute preparation. We took it easy. Had breakfast at pasar, went back to do laundry and packing, went to Manjaku to grab some stuff and only left Bangi around 12pm. Hubby refuses to go straight to the hospital as he said it's going to be boring to just wait around so we stopped at Sunway Pyramid first for lunch. We  went to Delicious, where I packed my pavlova and hubby bought starbucks coffee on the way out. By then, it was 3pm and I couldn't wait any longer.

Off we went to the hospital. I went to the labour room first but they were still preparing my room so I headed downstairs for my admission. It took quite awhile. We only went back up after 4pm. I was given room 12 but sadly mummy can't go in so she had to wait in the waiting room outside instead. After I changed into my hospital gown, the nurse came to check on me. I was 2.5cm dilated. Immediately, she strapped me on to the machines to monitor baby's heartbeat and my contractions.

At 5.25pm, I think I felt some minor contractions but it wasn't painful. Saw baby's heartbeat increased out of the ordinary once in awhile. I commented to hubby that baby was just as nervous as I was. Little did I know that the irregular heartbeat was the reason the Dr broke my water at 6.45pm when I was only 3cm dilated. I wanted to wait awhile since I really wanted the 11/11 date but the Dr had other worries. She checked my water and found it to be normal, no traces of green discharge of baby poo, which was a relief. Dr also gave me something to help me pass motion to clear my bowels by flushing some sort of water into my anus. Yucks. I had to rush to the toilet within 5 minutes.

Around 8.30pm, I could feel the pain getting more intense. Hubby wanted to comfort me by holding my hand but I was gripping the wood bed-handle so tight, I made him warm my legs instead. It felt so nice that I requested him to squeeze my feet with every contraction. Not long after, I called the nurse in to check on me. As much as I dreaded vaginal examination, I had to ask for it to know how many cm I had dilated that time. At 9pm, it was 6cm. At the rate I was going, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in until midnight. Dr came to check on me and offered gas or jab. Nurse offered me the gas but I refused to take it. Fearing the pain to come, I asked hubby for my notes. The jab, pethidine, will only take away 20% of the pain but will make you drowsy. Hmm, tough choice but fear got the better of me so I took the jab. Following which, 10pm onwards was a blur to me. I remember instructing hubby to hold my feet tighter and made buzzing sound when the contractions came. I remember asking for nurse to check on me again as I felt the urge to push. I remember I was told it was 8-9cm, which means I still should not push. I remember one of the nurses took out my urine using a cathether but because it was quite uncomfortable, also with the pain of contractions, they gave me gas. With that, I struggled less.
I remember Dr walked into my room at 11pm. I was thinking maybe I could still hold it in until midnight. I was still drifting in and out of consciousness that time. I remember the Dr refusing to give me more gas when she walked in. I remember the nurse reported to my Dr that my first push was no good, the second one was better although I don't quite remember pushing. I remember telling the Dr I needed to pass motion. I remember the Dr telling me that the feeling was the contraction that I need to start pushing. I DON'T remember that they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat halfway through the process. I DON'T remember that they had to stop the whole process to put the monitor on to find baby's heartbeat. I DIDN'T notice that the Dr was using vacuum down there and I DIDN'T feel her cutting me and put cotton inside of me to contain the bleeding. I do remember the Dr came to me, asking me to help her by pushing the baby out. She can't help me if I don't help her. "We don't want to go for C-Section kan Farah?". I remember shaking my head slowly. I remember my final 2 push. I was finally fully aware that time (although I was still closing my eyes) and that was when I actually applied the breathing techniques learned in my prenatal class. With my final push, my baby Batrisyia Hana was born with the help of vacuum. It was 10th November 2011, at 11.32am.
I may not remember everything that happened that night clearly, but I do remember the look of my baby's face looking intently at me when they put her on my body. The feeling was priceless.

My Surprise 2-Tiered Baby Shower

Last Friday, I was supposed to attend my last antenatal class. Hubby, however, was a bit reluctant to attend. I only wanted to since I already paid for the whole program but I didn't mind skipping it because I only signed up for the program to attend the 3rd class, which was focused more on the delivery day itself. Initially, I was still thinking on whether to go to the class but hubby asked me out on a date night, instead of attending the boring talk on how to take care of the mother and baby after delivery =p. I was excited to go out on a date night with hubby so I gave in.
He wanted to go to The Curve, where we could have dinner and watch movie so I made a booking to watch Bini2ku Gangster at cineleisure at 10pm. I would have preferred to BUY the tickets rather than just booking them but I couldn't do that at cineleisure. Had to collect the tickets by 9pm or the tickets would be sold off to public. We arrived at The Curve only around 9.15pm so safe to say the bookings were no longer available. I was a bit upset but whatever, as long as I get to spend the time with hubby. I was wondering where hubby would like to eat, suggested Marche, Bubba Gum Shrimp, Tony Romas but hubby just kept walking. Suddenly Hudam called me to apologise that she could not attend. I was like "Huh, I'm on a date night with hubby! I told you earlier". After I hang up, I was pouring my heart out to hubby that I suspected they were planning something behind my back and hudam got the details mixed-up bla bla bla... when I suddenly saw my girls sitting at The Garden restaurant with balloons and everything on the table. I immediately turned to hubby and hit him. He knew about the whole thing and didn't tell me! Well, where's the surprise in that if he did. =p
It was a wonderful occasion. I got the 2 presents that I really wanted. A pregnancy photoshoot and a pink MAM bottles gift set. Ngeee... ^_^ Happy! No wonder hubby had been preventing me from buying a photography package myself. He knew all along. The whole looperz crew were there, almost. Haslin, Irwan, Daanish, Acik and Fariq dropped by. Met Dr Hana too when I arrived. Thank you SoOoO Much girls... No worries to those who couldn't be there.


Why was the surprise baby shower 2-tiered? The next day, on a Saturday afternoon, Hanijoe and Cyantiah came over to my house to hang out and there was my second surprise. I got a new baby cot (installation included) hehe and nice colourful baby playgym and a hang-on-compartments to put my baby stuff. Hanijoe also brought chocolate rice crispies and Domino's. Irna joined us a bit later, exactly after the babycot was put together. Then we watched Bini2ku Gangster on AstroFirst. That night we wanted to go to Apis' shop at Dataran Nilai but due to the rain, we went to KLIAS instead. Burp~ Made a quick stop again at Dataran after dinner where I got myself a nice RM5 solitaire ring. Hehehe...

Anyway, BIG THANKS TO ALL MY GIRLS OUT THERE. You know who you are. Love lots!

Melaka (May) & Langkawi (June) trip

I have a lot of catching up to do with my vacation updates. Went to Melaka with hubby's MMU friends on labor day weekend, which was in May. I don't remember much about that vacation since it was quite some time ago =p but I do remember that 1) I was always hungry and I wasn't being fed frequently enough, being 3 months pregnant that time 2) Melaka's traffic jam on holidays was a nightmare 3) the vacation was quite a disaster.
Then I had my exam a day before my birthday in June, which I failed =p. Mid June hubby had to go to New Zealand for work for a couple of days so I scheduled my 2-day-Penang outstation trip that very same day AND subsequently followed mummy to Langkawi for her conference with my bro. Went for cable car ride, went to Underwater World where we saw adorable penguins and then chocolate shopping. Big thanks to Dila for lending us her car and Mak Njang and Pak Njang for being a wonderful host.

From 2nd level View from the cable car. The second level.

View of the sea

Telaga tujuh

As you can see, it was not an easy hike especially for a pregnant woman.

Underwater World, Langkawi

Penguins swimming. Weee...

Hidayah's blurR day

Yesterday, I went down to the surau and bumped into Hidayah. This is a very smart friend of mine... excelled in all her exams and passed both her CFA papers in one sitting respectively. As usual, we will talk about a few things like how the day has been or studies or work... This time round, we talked about fasting. The conversation goes more or less like below:

Her: So you managed to complete your puasa... minus the few days?
Me: Minus the few days? I completed the whole month! (Proudly)
Her: Ye la... The whole month minus the days you can't fast?
Me: Can't fast?
Her: You know, when you get your period?
Me: *mulut ternganga* I don't get my period! I'm pregnant!
Her: Eh, pregnant tak period eh?
Me: What the f*&%@^&??? That's how you know you are pregnant in the first place.
Her: Eh... I know that!!!
Me: Pfttttt....

Adeiii, Hidayah. She's a very smart girl AND she claims she took biology in school. Someone's brain must be very off this whole week. LOL.