The Final Push

This is the final journey of my first pregnancy.

On 10th November, the day I was supposed to be admitted, I had some blood show in the morning. Although I was only supposed to "check-in" at 6pm, mummy insisted that I go the hospital asap as she said, that was a sign of my cervics dilating. From Nilai, hubby and I went back to Bangi for some last minute preparation. We took it easy. Had breakfast at pasar, went back to do laundry and packing, went to Manjaku to grab some stuff and only left Bangi around 12pm. Hubby refuses to go straight to the hospital as he said it's going to be boring to just wait around so we stopped at Sunway Pyramid first for lunch. We  went to Delicious, where I packed my pavlova and hubby bought starbucks coffee on the way out. By then, it was 3pm and I couldn't wait any longer.

Off we went to the hospital. I went to the labour room first but they were still preparing my room so I headed downstairs for my admission. It took quite awhile. We only went back up after 4pm. I was given room 12 but sadly mummy can't go in so she had to wait in the waiting room outside instead. After I changed into my hospital gown, the nurse came to check on me. I was 2.5cm dilated. Immediately, she strapped me on to the machines to monitor baby's heartbeat and my contractions.

At 5.25pm, I think I felt some minor contractions but it wasn't painful. Saw baby's heartbeat increased out of the ordinary once in awhile. I commented to hubby that baby was just as nervous as I was. Little did I know that the irregular heartbeat was the reason the Dr broke my water at 6.45pm when I was only 3cm dilated. I wanted to wait awhile since I really wanted the 11/11 date but the Dr had other worries. She checked my water and found it to be normal, no traces of green discharge of baby poo, which was a relief. Dr also gave me something to help me pass motion to clear my bowels by flushing some sort of water into my anus. Yucks. I had to rush to the toilet within 5 minutes.

Around 8.30pm, I could feel the pain getting more intense. Hubby wanted to comfort me by holding my hand but I was gripping the wood bed-handle so tight, I made him warm my legs instead. It felt so nice that I requested him to squeeze my feet with every contraction. Not long after, I called the nurse in to check on me. As much as I dreaded vaginal examination, I had to ask for it to know how many cm I had dilated that time. At 9pm, it was 6cm. At the rate I was going, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in until midnight. Dr came to check on me and offered gas or jab. Nurse offered me the gas but I refused to take it. Fearing the pain to come, I asked hubby for my notes. The jab, pethidine, will only take away 20% of the pain but will make you drowsy. Hmm, tough choice but fear got the better of me so I took the jab. Following which, 10pm onwards was a blur to me. I remember instructing hubby to hold my feet tighter and made buzzing sound when the contractions came. I remember asking for nurse to check on me again as I felt the urge to push. I remember I was told it was 8-9cm, which means I still should not push. I remember one of the nurses took out my urine using a cathether but because it was quite uncomfortable, also with the pain of contractions, they gave me gas. With that, I struggled less.
I remember Dr walked into my room at 11pm. I was thinking maybe I could still hold it in until midnight. I was still drifting in and out of consciousness that time. I remember the Dr refusing to give me more gas when she walked in. I remember the nurse reported to my Dr that my first push was no good, the second one was better although I don't quite remember pushing. I remember telling the Dr I needed to pass motion. I remember the Dr telling me that the feeling was the contraction that I need to start pushing. I DON'T remember that they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat halfway through the process. I DON'T remember that they had to stop the whole process to put the monitor on to find baby's heartbeat. I DIDN'T notice that the Dr was using vacuum down there and I DIDN'T feel her cutting me and put cotton inside of me to contain the bleeding. I do remember the Dr came to me, asking me to help her by pushing the baby out. She can't help me if I don't help her. "We don't want to go for C-Section kan Farah?". I remember shaking my head slowly. I remember my final 2 push. I was finally fully aware that time (although I was still closing my eyes) and that was when I actually applied the breathing techniques learned in my prenatal class. With my final push, my baby Batrisyia Hana was born with the help of vacuum. It was 10th November 2011, at 11.32am.
I may not remember everything that happened that night clearly, but I do remember the look of my baby's face looking intently at me when they put her on my body. The feeling was priceless.