Investment

After nearly 3 years of working, I am now entering the saving/investment stage.

I have been saving a little bit in my maxinvest and asb through monthly deduction but that is quite insignificant. Being in the investment world, I am presented with all kind of products, which offer varying returns, depending on the amount of risk you are willing to take.

Since I got burnt through shares investment last year, I am now taking baby steps in this investment business. However, I am looking to diversify my investments, to ensure not to put all-eggs-in-one-basket as the saying goes.

Hence, this year, I have decided on 2 long term investments:

1) Property investment - Bought a 3-bedroom medium-low cost apartment for rental purpose in Kajang. Very near to my current house, which makes it easier for monitoring, I hope. Signed loan agreement, S&P etc... Waiting for all that to be processed and the next step is the key taking event, which marks me as the rightful owner of the house. Hopefully will have a new tenant by then as the current tenants' contract ends in May and they have no intention in renewing it.

2) Applied for ASB loan - This one has been pushed to me several times a few years back but I had no intention to invest here as I was led to believe (by myself) that saving small amount of money monthly is more beneficial than taking this big amount loan. However, since the topic was brought up by Hudam in the email loop the other day, we had the opportunity to revisit the topic and discussed about it extensively. Conclusion, still a good investment to take as long as dividend > interest charged on loan. So yeah, just signed my application for that too... Split the big amount into two so that it would be easier for me to prepay the amount in the event of high interest rate later.

I initially had the intention to own 3 houses by the age of 30... The value of the houses need not be big as I have budget constraint but they need to be in an area with high rental demand. Now that I have found ASB loan, I might have to cut down on the houses or extend the deadline. I do think the ASB loan is a good investment now, given that PNB keeps making money and pay that high dividend they are currently doing.

Have fun investing, ppl!

Lepak-ing week...

Hi, peeps! My last week was full... filled with meeting people and finishing some housechores.

Ditched my diet with a plate full of Nasi Goreng Dani Special on Monday.

Lepak with Asserk @ Sushi King and Starbucks, Metropoint on Tuesday.

Had lunch with Mighty, dropped by Midvalley after work to see Camy, Aizat and Babar on Wednesday, before heading to KL to see Mummy and Mak.

Stayed at home on Thursday, where I "played" with the pregnancy test kit at home alone... (I put there played coz I was 99% sure it was going to be negative... which they did... I bought 2... but I was just so excited to test it for the first time =p)

Lepak with Camy, Yat yat and Bojol on Friday at Carrefour Wangsa Maju and Domino's right after for dinner.

Saturday... stayed at home to do some laundry and some cleaning. Lepak with Cyan and Hani Joe at Ice Room, Nilai for some snow ice and went Karaoke-ing with them and hubby. At night, kidnapped Asserk... Had dinner at Red Wok with Asri and soon-to-be fiancee. Played wii until 2am.

Sunday... Did some ironing, went to Low Yat to exhange my faulty second dance mat, went to KLIA to send Mighty off for Japan...

All in all, it was a FULL but FRIENDLY week.
Time to start a new one and slot in studying in between.
Have fun!!!

peace song

Hi hi... Though I don't blog everyday anymore, I guess this is a necessary update following my latest 2 entries. I am happy to say that I have made peace with myself, thanks to all those around me, friends and family, who supported me through out the so-called ordeal. ehehehe... Quite a number of you stepped forward and offered me plenty of advice and related stories. It is much appreciated. Thank you.

Besides that, while I was in the midst of MY cold war and doing my own thing upstairs last 2 days, I suddenly heard hubby singing this song out loud, out of the blue... As in, it is not played on the tv or something. Not sure whether he intentionally wants to dedicate the song to me or he just had this sudden feeling to sing it without any particular reason... but somehow I find the lyrics to be very meaningful. Don't care if anyone wants to call me perasan for that matter.

Ungu : Tercipta Untukku

Menatap indahnya senyuman di wajahmu
Membuatku terdiam dan terpaku
Mengerti akan hadirnya citra terindah
Bila kau peluk mesra tubuhku

Banyak kata
Yang tak mampu ku ungkapkan
Kepada dirimu...

Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langkah yang menyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langkah yang menyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku

Pasti waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tahu
Ku selalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku..

marriage counseling???

This is a game hubby plays on the internet - http://www.roguevampires.net/
It has a VALA part, where you can take courses to enhance your character's strength in so many ways.
He has not been active since the laptop screen was damaged but I just got it fixed last week.
First course on the list reads: Marriage counseling
Hmm...

You make me sick

Things I feel like doing when hubby sms those exact words to me:

A) Reply with "You disgust me"
B) Chase him out of the house
C) Ran away from home
D) Stop doing all the housechores and stop running his errands

Well, at the spur of the moment, I opted for C, for only a day... since a directive was issued... I should stay home no matter how bad we fight. (I am sure after this, it will be no publishing personal issues on the blog. But who reads my blog anyway...)

His reply to my action above was: Act as nothing happened.

Current software running: Not talking to each other and stay out of each other's way

Seriously? Do you still feel like going home at this stage of life? Home feels like hell when I cannot speak... coz I talk a lot. Not speaking takes a great deal of effort out of me. Hmmphh.

I LOVE CIMB~

Hua hua hua...
Muacksss!!!

Twlight Saga Craze~

Howdy, everybody. I am driving my husband crazy for this past 2 or 3 weeks with this!!!

Stuck with all the 4 books of the twilight saga and dropping everything else aside for it. Should have listened to Jid and warned hubby before I started. You can say I am practically a walking zombie with the book/story in hand/mind wherever I go. If only I can say the same for my CFA materials... Anyway, Stephenie Meyer is a real good writer... She makes me scared, she makes me cry and absolutely absorbed just by reading her imagination. Good stuff~

Motherly Instinct

Morning ppl!!! (Although I am sure most of you would not be reading this in the morning) Our trip up north was fantastic. Maybe not to the rest of the troop but it was to me. Hehe. Well, the trip didn't quite turn out as planned. When we arrived, we were told that Azmir and Mimi were not on the guest list. Even after the staff arrived and managed to find a place for both of them, all 4 of us were placed in different rooms! So much for a romantic getaway. Since it was already late and Azmir really wanted to meet the DJ and join the event, we stayed for prayers and dinner before we head out to find a place to stay. Initially went to Marina (thanks Sarr for suggesting the place) but ended up with a room in Teluk Batik Resort instead since Marina was left with only a one-bedroom-apartment or a 3-bedroom-apartment.

The place was so so but it was enough for us to just sleep and rest. On the way back, we actually went to Kellie's castle (cuti2 Malaysia la katekan) and detoured to Cameron Highlands. Each of us had a cup of tea or two at Boh Plantations. The scenery was breath taking (really?). Hehe. Pictures are with Mimi since my camera decided to take time off during this whole trip.

Anyway, while on the way to Damai Laut, we obviously chit-chatted about everything under the sun. Then, I brought up the baby issue. Everyone around me is having or looking forward to having a baby but I just don't feel ready yet. Mimi shared her boss' advice with me, which I will share with you guys here today. (I hope she doesn't mind.) Her boss told her, "There is never a "right" time to have a baby". True enough now you are working to establish your career but when you are more established, your responsibility will get bigger and it will make it harder for you to have more time for yourself and family. So when you want to have one, just go for it and learn to make your time around it. Okay. Something like that. Somehow or rather the message gets to me... I find the statement enlightening.

On top of that, I do think my job now is somewhat permitting me to have more time for myself. I am not saying I am working government hours now but it is much better here from another deparment I was with. Then comes the next question, how can I think to have a baby NOW when I have made plans with other ppl to have baby next year. Haha. Okay. That is silly. That should be the least of my concern. However, to my surprise, one of my best friends, whom I made a pledge with to get pregnant next year together, told me last night, that they (she and hubby) are leaving it to fate instead of planning... which means she is ditching the plan before me already. Hmm. Should I?

I don't quite fancy children and do not find them that much adorable especially when they are crying or acting out. But when hubby is constantly amazed by his niece's and nephew's progress, when he kept repeating and imitating what the kids say, I must admit that I somehow feel a tiny pinch of jealousy that he is excited to follow the growth of someone's else child instead of his own (of course he can't coz we don't have one yet!). I guess I am feeling that coz it feels like he won't be as excited as he is now, with his own child's growth when we have one, coz it won't be the first time he sees all these things later.

But when I ask him yesterday... his concerns now are economic stability (hmm, not my VERY main concern) and commitment (to the baby) as in no more "us" time and impromptu romantic getaway. Hmm, didn't quite expect that from him so case closed.

Anwar's Court Case

It's heating up in Malaysia now with Anwar's sodomy case being on trial. I don't know who to believe as clearly both of them (Anwar and his ex-aide) are giving completely opposite statements so obviously one of them is lying. Whatever it is, I hope the truth with prevail. Ameen.

p/s: I'm not a fan of Anwar but if he is really innocent, I do pray his name will be cleared off after this trial. But if he's not, may Allah guide him towards the right direction. Wallahualam.

Officially moved to Bangi

Hi, everyone. I was too lazy to post any update before but I feel the need to write today. (Dunno where all my friends are... everyone's busy so I guess I just have to tell my story here.) I am now officially living in Bangi. My main residence is now there (I'm in office now =p), rather than KL, although I told my mom to not do anything to my room and just leave it as it is. Though I know I should feel excited about it, moving on with life and moving in with hubby, I must admit I was rather sad to leave KL. This is the place where I grow up, the place I really feel comfortable, the place where I belong. As "prepared" as I was before moving, giving myself about a month or so to furnish the house and accept the reality, when the time came, when it actually hit me, it still hurt. I guess I didn't expect it to come this soon... I thought the earliest for us to move in together would be in at least 2 years time, when both are ready to settle down and live as a family, have kids and what nots. Not that I am not ready to get married. For heaven's sake I wanted to get married ever since I got together with this guy. I was just not prepared to the conventional way of married life. But don't get me wrong. I love my hubby with all my heart... and that is the reason I am willing to push the moving in date wayyy forward than what I planned. But I also cannot deny the sadness I'm feeling. And I also know that I will get over it.

The first week of adjusting was extra hard. I was stressed out, turned quiet and sometimes cried... especially when I was left alone, especially when I can't just call any of my friends to hang out with me while waiting for hubby to come home. But I was lucky enough, hubby and mummy and family were all patient enough to accommodate me. They stuck by me facing my own fear. For that, I am very grateful.

The days after was uneventful until yesterday when I had a terrible experience with traffic. Left home slightly late for work and was stuck in jam for more than an hour!!! (When it should just take me half an hour.) =_= Hohoo... Was pretty frustrated and tired from that experience and vowed to never leave home later than 7 again! So new resolution> Need to leave home extra early... Moreover, last night my Touch N Go was left with 60 sens (which is not sufficient for one journey) so I either need to reload or queue up to pay the toll. Hubby, wanting to leave early for work too, purposely blocked my car so that I HAVE TO wake him up before I go to work. So today, I woke up at 5.30, took my shower, did my prayers and waited... Did some cleaning in the kitchen, refilled ice-cube compartment and waited some more. I was waiting to wake hubby up coz I know he slept later than me. I didn't want to wake him too early but at the same time, I didn't want to be late for work. Was tempted to even do laundry just now but didn't think I would have enough time. At 6.30 sharp, I turned on the light and forced hubby out of bed. We managed to leave home ard 6.45. I had to stop at 2 petrol stations to reload my Touch N Go (the first one ran out of credit), then at another to pee (couldn't hold it any longer) and at another one to deposit money into the Cash Deposit Machine. So practically petrol stations are not just to fill in petrol for me. They are my everything... reloading agent, toilet and bank!!! hehe... Anyway, arrived office just on time... (was not even early) but was satisfied enough with traffic. (No more petrol sucking, leg numbing, an hour long jammm)

This weekend, we are heading up to Damai Laut with Azmir and Mimi. Hope that will take my mind off the frustrating things and move on with exciting new future. Till then, tadaaa

Happy New Year, ppl!

Hi! Hi! Hi! I guess the year is still fresh and new to be still wishing you ppl that. Anyone set any new year resolution for this new year? Well, I dont quite have one myself. When I was studying, when ppl asked me what my new year resolution was, I always answered to study hard that year. Well, I think I would do it anyway for my future irregardless whether that was made my new year resolution or not. I did say last year I wanted to be nicer to ppl (coz I know I'm not sooo nice at times) and probably I still need to observe that. Other than that, I probably want to lose weight... or not... (coz I dont think I am THAT fat although ppl keep telling me otherwise and I will lose some treasured fat if I lose weight which I don't quite want. Yes, seriously) I want to study hard For Real for my CFA (which I didn't attend last December since I was down with really bad sore throat and cough). Well, those are the things I want to achieve moving forward but they are not really my new year's resolutions. They are just some things I want/need to do in this near future.

Bangi... Bangi... Bangi... I bought my long-awaited bedroom set (without the bed since we have one already) with a 7 1/2 feet long and 8 feet tall wardrobe. (Heaven!) Bought it at Cavenzi, Sg Besi at a reasonable price. But what was kinda weird was that I went to 2 Cavenzis before but had never came across this set. (I even went through their catalogue!) Nearly gave up and wanted to just take the offer from a shop BESIDE Cavenzi, Balakong (Balakong was SuPPoSeD to be Cavenzi's HQ) if there's no such offer available at World of Furniture yesterday. (Not that I need it to be from Cavenzi but since there was sooo much hyped going around about the cheap prices and all, I was kinda frustrated when I can't find something that would suit my need). Anyway, to cut the story short, after window shopping at 2 shops with mummy, 3 shops with hubby, I finally found what I want yesterday. I was sooooooooooo happy indeed... Yes, shopping is tiring for me. But this is a big amount of money we are talking about so need to spend a bit of time shopping around first before can really close a deal. Next would be a side kitchen cabinet and a fridge.

Other than that, I am currently trying to catch up with TV series that I have left behind last year. Thanks to Ms Irna for supplying those series to me. Am currently watching Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy and soon Gossip Girl as well. Well, I'm kinda lagging behind so need to catch up faster... wait a minute. There's no NEED to catch up faster. I'm in no rush... Just kinda bored at the moment. Alritey then. More updates later. Daa~

Goodbye 2009~

Hello peeps! There are a lot of changes going on in my life at the moment, being married and all. Big news (at least to me): We have finally decided to move in together and live in Bangi at last... So currently quite busy trying to furnish the house and make it as live-able and home-y as possible. Tentative moving in date is 16/01/10... (3 months after being hubby and wifey). Have not decided on house-warming date yet... so be patient.

I actually have mixed feeling about moving to Bangi. Though I am still keeping my room in KL, my main residence now will be in Bangi, instead of Setapak i.e. the place where I practically grew up. As excited as I am to start living with my beloved hubby, I can't deny feeling really2 sad to leave KL. (well... partially... I still work in KL)

Pros:

1) Living full time with hubby

2) In between hubby's farm and my office so both have to commute less kilometres

3) Have proper kitchen that I would consider cooking in

4) Bigger house??? (Not sure whether this is a pro since only me, hubby and mummy living there)

Cons:

1) I have no friends there... Most of my friends live in KL!!!

2) Further away from office... Nak balik jam coz I am no longer going against the flow... (Most ppl work in KL and live elsewhere. Bangi & Seremban included so I will be going WITH the flow, thus, traffic is really gonna be a problem)

3) Sentimental value in KL

Hmm, I guess that's it for the main points...

And obviously the first point carries a bigger weight, hence the decision to move. So Bangi, here I come.

New year... New life... And hopefully for the better...

HAPPY NEW YEAR, people!!!

Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha

Hi, everyone. I just woke up ard half an hour ago... (ard 4.30pm-ish) and I'm at my in-laws!!! (What a way to celebrate First Raya with hubby's family) My hubby and I didn't even attend the morning raya prayer and we only woke up and had our breakfast ard 10-ish. We stayed awake for awhile and went back to sleep. The reason being, not only today is a holiday... hubby is not feeling particularly well. He keeps coughing through out the night, thus we are sort of having sleepless nights at the moment... Somehow or rather, the coughing is not that bad during day light. It strikes as a bit weird to me but was told by mother-in-law, hubby's cousin had a similar experience last month, admitted herself into a hospital and found out there was virus in her blood. If hubby's coughing does not subside by monday, mom-in-law is admitting him into hospital ... which is a good thing since I will be on my compulsory cum study leave the whole of next week.

I guess hubby didn't have a good week. It started off with him being told he missed the federal government tender. The fact is he didn't even know that his company's name was even nominated. He was only told by a fellow farmer, who went and asked why he wasn't there. When his company's name was announced and no one showed up, his portion was given to someone else, just like that. He was obviously sooo damn frustrated as the tender could have worth at least hundrends of thousands. As sorry as I felt for him, the only thing I can say is "takde rezeki la tuh. Nak buat camne". Well, I'm sure Allah knows best and He will give what He feels is best for us. Ameen.

We are 1 month old! =)

Hi, everyone! I just feel like writing coz I'm just too lazy to do anything else. It's lunch time at work now so office is pretty quiet. Oh... I got a new PC here at the office, at long last and this one is wayyy better than the old one, where I had to wait 10 mins or more for it to start & be fully functional and a couple of minutes to open an excel file.

Initially, I feel like blogging in Malay after reading bojol's blog. (Bojol, the way you blog is so simple, yet so funny. heheh.) Then, when I started structuring my thoughts, I don't feel like it anymore. After all, I'm not trying to copy Bojol, right? hehe.

I don't actually have anything specific to blog about. But today, me and hubby have been together as husband and wife for exactly one whole month!!! Weee... I hope we last forever and ever and ever ever and ever ever. I marked my one month with him with this statement:

me: Now I have one reason why I DON'T like sleeping with you...

him: (Straight away give me full attention) What is it???

me: I don't like leaving you in the morning when I have to go to work. Ahaqs!

Gotcha hubby. I Love You!!! Muacks

I'm married!!!

Good day, everyone. I know it has been a long break since the last post. As you should have known, I was busy preparing for my wedding, got married, hosted a reception (two including the groom's side) anddd back to work. I wasn't expecting my life to change at all, honestly, but I guess it is changing bit by bit. As a wife, I'd feel slightly guilty to not be by hubby's side, at least when the day is over and during the weekends. Trying to travel up and down every other day is abit tiring, for both of us, but we are trying our best to make it work. Some ppl strongly disagree with the fact that we are sort of staying separately at the moment but the thing is we still travel to see and be with each other most of the time so what's the big deal. It's not like we don't have a place to stay on our own but we are not quite ready to move in together yet. I dunno... maybe financially, emotionally, physically??? whatever... not ready is a general, the most accurate word to describe our position now. Hmm, maybe I should actually start by thanking those of you who attended my wedding. THANK YOU, GUYS!!! It means a lottt to me seeing all of you there... I do need to apologise to those who came, but did not get a chance to meet me. I understand some of you guys have a lot of events to attend that day, thus, not being able to stay for a picture or even say hi. But all in all I am VERY HAPPY with how the reception turned out and am very grateful it went very smoothly.

As for our honeymoon, we picked Pangkor Laut as the preferred destination and I'm telling you now, it's damn worth it. To those of you who are not familiar with that name, Pangkor Laut Resort, is located near THE Pangkor Island itself, but is not on the same island. It is a private island owned by YTL and is a very very very nice place!!! OMG!!! Go check it out yourself. It's a luxurious little place that offers you privacy and peace. It is such a shame that many Malaysians I spoke to don't even know the existance of this place, possibly it is because this resort is more on the pricey side but nevertheless it is worth even cent we paid. Initially I didn't even considered this place but a colleague told me about the local residents package that is wayyy cheaper than the standard internet rate. The downside about my honeymoon is, we relaxed too much that I put on a lot of weight during my 3 days 2 nights stay there!!!

Centralise Marriage System in Malaysia (Part 2)

Just to add a few more pointers and stories for prospective newly-weds.

1) Make sure you know your qariah and your registration centre

-One friend of mine, stays at the border of KL-Selangor. Her address is in KL but the mosque nearest to her house is Selangor. So when she went to JAWI, she was sent to JAIS. When she went to JAIS, she was told she to go to JAWI. She had to go back and forth a few times before finally one Jabatan Agama accepted her application. (See... even they don't know which place falls under whose jurisdiction)

-Another friend of mine, stays in Bangi and went to the nearest PAID (Pejabat Agama Islam Daerah) in Kajang to submit her application. She was told that she had to submit her application in Salak Selatan, which is near KLIA and Nilai, Hazmi's current area. Hazmi, on the other hand, can't submit there, since that would fall under Selangor. So he has to submit in Seremban. So make sure you get your registration centre right.

2) Changing of address

-I dont have much experience in this. The most I had to do was fill in a form confirming my status of residency, signed by my kadi. I had to do this because the address in my IC is different from my house address. But the address in my IC is just in the housing area next to mine so it is still in KL and within the same vicinity.

-I heard a friend of mine, who is from Penang but currently staying in KL, is trying to claim residency here in KL. In other words, he is trying to file his application in KL, instead of in Penang. So I heard he has to fill in some forms proving his current address, bla bla bla. I don't know the procedure so to those who plan to do the same, better go find out about that.

Ok peeps. I am just sharing these stories here so that you people would be more prepared to face these challenges ahead of you. It might be simple and easy for some, but if you are a bit unlucky, it could also get very complicated. Speaking about inefficiency, I was told by JAWI, it would only take about an hour or so for them to process the application but when Hazmi went to submit his form in Seremban, he was told that they need 3 days to process the application. So just be prepared. Don't be surprised if you take a day off from work to settle all these things, just to be told that it can't be done within a day. Good luck~

Centralise marriage system in Malaysia

I don't understand why it is so difficult to process marriage application in Malaysia. When I wanted to collect the form, I asked a friend, who then asked her father, whether I should go to Seremban to get the form for my fiance. I was told I can get everything from JAWI (Jabatan Agama Islam Wilayah Persekutuan) since my marriage will be registered there. So I drove all the way from Nilai to KL to pick up both forms and was told that I need to go to Seremban to pick up Hazmi's form. =_= Today the same thing happened again. Hazmi has filled up his form and got the imam's signature. So I went to see my imam and I asked him. "Do I need to submit Hazmi's form to Jabatan Agama Seremban?" He told me, I don't have to do that because the marriage will be registered in KL so everything will be arranged here. This time, I asked again, "Are you sure?" He said yes. Considering he is the imam of my area, I believed him when he said that. However, when I went to JAWI just now, I was again told that Hazmi needs to get permission from Seremban to get married. Firstly, we DON'T NEED YOUR PERMISSION TO GET MARRIED. And secondly, why can't everything be centralised? I mean, after all, we are all in Malaysia. Why can't they have a database and process everything from anywhere, as long as you submit your form to a Jabatan Agama, irregardless in which state you submit your form to? Urgh. They are making it so difficult to get married.

Another thing is, my parents are divorced. Since I am their first daughter, I need to provide their marriage certificate to prove that I am a legitimate daughter from that marriage. Fair enough. Since they are divorced, I provided their divorce letter and my mom's swearing-in letter to confirm the matter above. But each time, they have a look at the letter, they will just have to ask, "surat nikah takde eh?". Aren't YOU the one working in Jabatan Agama? Shouldn't YOU know that when you got divorced, they will take back the marriage certificate??? OMG! Damn irritating. Please stop asking me stupid questions!!!

To those who are in the process of getting all this permission/approval crap, here's the list of what you should do (irregardless of what anyone else might say):

1) Go for the marriage course

2) Collect guy's form from his state's Jabatan Agama

3) Collect girl's form from her state's Jabatan Agama

4) Do HIV test

5) Fill in forms

6) Guys - Need pengakuan akuan bujang from employer/ketua kampung/imam

7) First daughters - Provide parent's marriage certificate. If divorced, provide divorce letter and surat sumpah

8) Submit form to guy's side for kebenaran berkahwin

9) Submit form (together with guy's completed form and approval) to girl's side for kebenaran berkahwin

It was supposed to be a simple process so it should be done in no time. But when different ppl tell you different things and the Jabatan Agama being so inflexible, it just complicates the whole process. I hope this is a bit of a help for prospective newly-weds (if you don't already know).

Staying

I remember wanting to blog about something but I don't remember what to blog about. While I figure that out, I think I'll just blab for awhile. Before that, on a more serious note, CIMB has finally delivered what they promised me months ago. So I'm happy to say that I am at peace working there now. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee.............. ^_^
What the??? Haha... Whatever~

And wedding preparation update:
Booked the dress and make up for his and my side
Have started printing invitation cards
Booked a photograper looong time ago
Both of us are done with HIV test
Hazmi forms are complete and ready to go

To do list:
Still looking for a videographer
Havent bought the ring and hantaran and whatever comes with it
Made appointment to submit my forms with my dad and kadi this Sunday
To buy more door gift coz we only bought about 200 before

Relationship - read at own risk

I always find myself as an open, sharing person, as in stories-wise... I AM NOT a secretive person, thus I tend to NOT hide things from people unless it is really necessary for me to do so. So when a friend of mine shared with me her experience before she got married, I was kinda surprised I didn't know it when it happened. Nevertheless, I am thankful for her sharing the story at the right time... while I am going through a rough patch in my engagement period.

What I didn't know about this seemingly happy friend of mine is, a week before she had gotten hitched, her ex-boyfriend came back to her, asked her NOT to marry her fiance and marry HIM instead! Wow, that's a dramatic move. I mean, a week before the wedding, like reallyyyyy ex-bf? As much as she was and still is in love with her man, she did still have feelings for the ex. Hence, she was such in a confused state for awhile when all this drama happened. Needless to say, she cried and cried and prayed hard but finally decided to stick with her decision and go on with the fiance instead. I am happy to report, they are now happy together, bought their own place and expecting their very first child. On top of that, we also suspected another very close friend of ours, went through a somewhat similar experience. This girl, S, had a difficult choice to make between two guys, both are (yes, past and present) madly in love with her. She decided with one, which is her present hubby now, but had a hard time letting go this other guy, who I suspect was very frustrated that she had chosen the other man instead.

After hearing these stories that evening, I started to think that my problem isn't half as big. But the thing is, I don't have the liberty to choose between two guys coz I only have one. These girls, no matter who they choose, will end up with a guy. It's only a matter of a better guy. I, on the other hand, is to marry this guy or not. My problem is actually him frictioning with me and now I discovered another one, hiding things behind my back, although he promised not to do so two years ago. (I suspect he forgot he made that promise because he just made it again... or he is just not the kind of man that honour the promises he makes... I hope it's the first one because if it's the second, I should not be marrying him in the first place!)

The problem started with him trying to save a damsel in distress, as always, being the honourable guy. Me, on the other hand, opposed that idea as I believe in hard work earned money. I understand his point of view but was nevertheless mad at HER, the damsel in distress. Although I was so mad at her for always asking money from us, I didn't want to directly shoot her so I only poured it out to my fiance instead. He then got mad at me for... erm, I am still not too sure why and stopped talking to me altogether. Apparently, he thinks I accused him of something? Something like that.

It's only when we are trying to sort things out, I truly found out (I suspected it long before already) he went to see somebody I don't quite particularly like (because she used to have like a big crush on him before and even after finding out this guy is dating someone else, she still is very mengade with him... geeshhhh... gedik) BEHIND MY BACK.

Oh My God! Two things in a row. Like seriously? We have less than 3 months before the wedding and I really hope nothing new would come up. This is just stressing me out. Maybe it's a good thing... Maybe it is a reminder for me to NOT love a guy with ALL MY HEART. A friend of mine warned me to keep a portion of my heart for myself but I told her I can't do that coz I have fallen 120% in love with my fiance. When all these things hitting me just 3 months before the wedding, I am starting to think, maybe, I should follow my friend's advice instead.

It's not too late for me to do that, right? The problem is, I'm sure when our problems are "solved" (at the time of writing, Mr Fiance still refuses to discuss the matter at hand, so they are currently being swept under the rug) or rightly forgotten, I WILL once again surrender all my heart into his hand and risking it being crushed again and again.

I hope I am not making the wrong decision here for staying in this half-transparent relationship. Oh Allah, Please help me coz only You know BEST!

Trial

I always thought we could weather through anything. Now I'm not so sure.

I guess the demons are working real hard now that the date is near to ensure they do not lost their most profitable clients on earth.