Goodbye 2009~

Hello peeps! There are a lot of changes going on in my life at the moment, being married and all. Big news (at least to me): We have finally decided to move in together and live in Bangi at last... So currently quite busy trying to furnish the house and make it as live-able and home-y as possible. Tentative moving in date is 16/01/10... (3 months after being hubby and wifey). Have not decided on house-warming date yet... so be patient.

I actually have mixed feeling about moving to Bangi. Though I am still keeping my room in KL, my main residence now will be in Bangi, instead of Setapak i.e. the place where I practically grew up. As excited as I am to start living with my beloved hubby, I can't deny feeling really2 sad to leave KL. (well... partially... I still work in KL)

Pros:

1) Living full time with hubby

2) In between hubby's farm and my office so both have to commute less kilometres

3) Have proper kitchen that I would consider cooking in

4) Bigger house??? (Not sure whether this is a pro since only me, hubby and mummy living there)

Cons:

1) I have no friends there... Most of my friends live in KL!!!

2) Further away from office... Nak balik jam coz I am no longer going against the flow... (Most ppl work in KL and live elsewhere. Bangi & Seremban included so I will be going WITH the flow, thus, traffic is really gonna be a problem)

3) Sentimental value in KL

Hmm, I guess that's it for the main points...

And obviously the first point carries a bigger weight, hence the decision to move. So Bangi, here I come.

New year... New life... And hopefully for the better...

HAPPY NEW YEAR, people!!!

Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha

Hi, everyone. I just woke up ard half an hour ago... (ard 4.30pm-ish) and I'm at my in-laws!!! (What a way to celebrate First Raya with hubby's family) My hubby and I didn't even attend the morning raya prayer and we only woke up and had our breakfast ard 10-ish. We stayed awake for awhile and went back to sleep. The reason being, not only today is a holiday... hubby is not feeling particularly well. He keeps coughing through out the night, thus we are sort of having sleepless nights at the moment... Somehow or rather, the coughing is not that bad during day light. It strikes as a bit weird to me but was told by mother-in-law, hubby's cousin had a similar experience last month, admitted herself into a hospital and found out there was virus in her blood. If hubby's coughing does not subside by monday, mom-in-law is admitting him into hospital ... which is a good thing since I will be on my compulsory cum study leave the whole of next week.

I guess hubby didn't have a good week. It started off with him being told he missed the federal government tender. The fact is he didn't even know that his company's name was even nominated. He was only told by a fellow farmer, who went and asked why he wasn't there. When his company's name was announced and no one showed up, his portion was given to someone else, just like that. He was obviously sooo damn frustrated as the tender could have worth at least hundrends of thousands. As sorry as I felt for him, the only thing I can say is "takde rezeki la tuh. Nak buat camne". Well, I'm sure Allah knows best and He will give what He feels is best for us. Ameen.

We are 1 month old! =)

Hi, everyone! I just feel like writing coz I'm just too lazy to do anything else. It's lunch time at work now so office is pretty quiet. Oh... I got a new PC here at the office, at long last and this one is wayyy better than the old one, where I had to wait 10 mins or more for it to start & be fully functional and a couple of minutes to open an excel file.

Initially, I feel like blogging in Malay after reading bojol's blog. (Bojol, the way you blog is so simple, yet so funny. heheh.) Then, when I started structuring my thoughts, I don't feel like it anymore. After all, I'm not trying to copy Bojol, right? hehe.

I don't actually have anything specific to blog about. But today, me and hubby have been together as husband and wife for exactly one whole month!!! Weee... I hope we last forever and ever and ever ever and ever ever. I marked my one month with him with this statement:

me: Now I have one reason why I DON'T like sleeping with you...

him: (Straight away give me full attention) What is it???

me: I don't like leaving you in the morning when I have to go to work. Ahaqs!

Gotcha hubby. I Love You!!! Muacks

I'm married!!!

Good day, everyone. I know it has been a long break since the last post. As you should have known, I was busy preparing for my wedding, got married, hosted a reception (two including the groom's side) anddd back to work. I wasn't expecting my life to change at all, honestly, but I guess it is changing bit by bit. As a wife, I'd feel slightly guilty to not be by hubby's side, at least when the day is over and during the weekends. Trying to travel up and down every other day is abit tiring, for both of us, but we are trying our best to make it work. Some ppl strongly disagree with the fact that we are sort of staying separately at the moment but the thing is we still travel to see and be with each other most of the time so what's the big deal. It's not like we don't have a place to stay on our own but we are not quite ready to move in together yet. I dunno... maybe financially, emotionally, physically??? whatever... not ready is a general, the most accurate word to describe our position now. Hmm, maybe I should actually start by thanking those of you who attended my wedding. THANK YOU, GUYS!!! It means a lottt to me seeing all of you there... I do need to apologise to those who came, but did not get a chance to meet me. I understand some of you guys have a lot of events to attend that day, thus, not being able to stay for a picture or even say hi. But all in all I am VERY HAPPY with how the reception turned out and am very grateful it went very smoothly.

As for our honeymoon, we picked Pangkor Laut as the preferred destination and I'm telling you now, it's damn worth it. To those of you who are not familiar with that name, Pangkor Laut Resort, is located near THE Pangkor Island itself, but is not on the same island. It is a private island owned by YTL and is a very very very nice place!!! OMG!!! Go check it out yourself. It's a luxurious little place that offers you privacy and peace. It is such a shame that many Malaysians I spoke to don't even know the existance of this place, possibly it is because this resort is more on the pricey side but nevertheless it is worth even cent we paid. Initially I didn't even considered this place but a colleague told me about the local residents package that is wayyy cheaper than the standard internet rate. The downside about my honeymoon is, we relaxed too much that I put on a lot of weight during my 3 days 2 nights stay there!!!

Centralise Marriage System in Malaysia (Part 2)

Just to add a few more pointers and stories for prospective newly-weds.

1) Make sure you know your qariah and your registration centre

-One friend of mine, stays at the border of KL-Selangor. Her address is in KL but the mosque nearest to her house is Selangor. So when she went to JAWI, she was sent to JAIS. When she went to JAIS, she was told she to go to JAWI. She had to go back and forth a few times before finally one Jabatan Agama accepted her application. (See... even they don't know which place falls under whose jurisdiction)

-Another friend of mine, stays in Bangi and went to the nearest PAID (Pejabat Agama Islam Daerah) in Kajang to submit her application. She was told that she had to submit her application in Salak Selatan, which is near KLIA and Nilai, Hazmi's current area. Hazmi, on the other hand, can't submit there, since that would fall under Selangor. So he has to submit in Seremban. So make sure you get your registration centre right.

2) Changing of address

-I dont have much experience in this. The most I had to do was fill in a form confirming my status of residency, signed by my kadi. I had to do this because the address in my IC is different from my house address. But the address in my IC is just in the housing area next to mine so it is still in KL and within the same vicinity.

-I heard a friend of mine, who is from Penang but currently staying in KL, is trying to claim residency here in KL. In other words, he is trying to file his application in KL, instead of in Penang. So I heard he has to fill in some forms proving his current address, bla bla bla. I don't know the procedure so to those who plan to do the same, better go find out about that.

Ok peeps. I am just sharing these stories here so that you people would be more prepared to face these challenges ahead of you. It might be simple and easy for some, but if you are a bit unlucky, it could also get very complicated. Speaking about inefficiency, I was told by JAWI, it would only take about an hour or so for them to process the application but when Hazmi went to submit his form in Seremban, he was told that they need 3 days to process the application. So just be prepared. Don't be surprised if you take a day off from work to settle all these things, just to be told that it can't be done within a day. Good luck~

Centralise marriage system in Malaysia

I don't understand why it is so difficult to process marriage application in Malaysia. When I wanted to collect the form, I asked a friend, who then asked her father, whether I should go to Seremban to get the form for my fiance. I was told I can get everything from JAWI (Jabatan Agama Islam Wilayah Persekutuan) since my marriage will be registered there. So I drove all the way from Nilai to KL to pick up both forms and was told that I need to go to Seremban to pick up Hazmi's form. =_= Today the same thing happened again. Hazmi has filled up his form and got the imam's signature. So I went to see my imam and I asked him. "Do I need to submit Hazmi's form to Jabatan Agama Seremban?" He told me, I don't have to do that because the marriage will be registered in KL so everything will be arranged here. This time, I asked again, "Are you sure?" He said yes. Considering he is the imam of my area, I believed him when he said that. However, when I went to JAWI just now, I was again told that Hazmi needs to get permission from Seremban to get married. Firstly, we DON'T NEED YOUR PERMISSION TO GET MARRIED. And secondly, why can't everything be centralised? I mean, after all, we are all in Malaysia. Why can't they have a database and process everything from anywhere, as long as you submit your form to a Jabatan Agama, irregardless in which state you submit your form to? Urgh. They are making it so difficult to get married.

Another thing is, my parents are divorced. Since I am their first daughter, I need to provide their marriage certificate to prove that I am a legitimate daughter from that marriage. Fair enough. Since they are divorced, I provided their divorce letter and my mom's swearing-in letter to confirm the matter above. But each time, they have a look at the letter, they will just have to ask, "surat nikah takde eh?". Aren't YOU the one working in Jabatan Agama? Shouldn't YOU know that when you got divorced, they will take back the marriage certificate??? OMG! Damn irritating. Please stop asking me stupid questions!!!

To those who are in the process of getting all this permission/approval crap, here's the list of what you should do (irregardless of what anyone else might say):

1) Go for the marriage course

2) Collect guy's form from his state's Jabatan Agama

3) Collect girl's form from her state's Jabatan Agama

4) Do HIV test

5) Fill in forms

6) Guys - Need pengakuan akuan bujang from employer/ketua kampung/imam

7) First daughters - Provide parent's marriage certificate. If divorced, provide divorce letter and surat sumpah

8) Submit form to guy's side for kebenaran berkahwin

9) Submit form (together with guy's completed form and approval) to girl's side for kebenaran berkahwin

It was supposed to be a simple process so it should be done in no time. But when different ppl tell you different things and the Jabatan Agama being so inflexible, it just complicates the whole process. I hope this is a bit of a help for prospective newly-weds (if you don't already know).

Staying

I remember wanting to blog about something but I don't remember what to blog about. While I figure that out, I think I'll just blab for awhile. Before that, on a more serious note, CIMB has finally delivered what they promised me months ago. So I'm happy to say that I am at peace working there now. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee.............. ^_^
What the??? Haha... Whatever~

And wedding preparation update:
Booked the dress and make up for his and my side
Have started printing invitation cards
Booked a photograper looong time ago
Both of us are done with HIV test
Hazmi forms are complete and ready to go

To do list:
Still looking for a videographer
Havent bought the ring and hantaran and whatever comes with it
Made appointment to submit my forms with my dad and kadi this Sunday
To buy more door gift coz we only bought about 200 before

Relationship - read at own risk

I always find myself as an open, sharing person, as in stories-wise... I AM NOT a secretive person, thus I tend to NOT hide things from people unless it is really necessary for me to do so. So when a friend of mine shared with me her experience before she got married, I was kinda surprised I didn't know it when it happened. Nevertheless, I am thankful for her sharing the story at the right time... while I am going through a rough patch in my engagement period.

What I didn't know about this seemingly happy friend of mine is, a week before she had gotten hitched, her ex-boyfriend came back to her, asked her NOT to marry her fiance and marry HIM instead! Wow, that's a dramatic move. I mean, a week before the wedding, like reallyyyyy ex-bf? As much as she was and still is in love with her man, she did still have feelings for the ex. Hence, she was such in a confused state for awhile when all this drama happened. Needless to say, she cried and cried and prayed hard but finally decided to stick with her decision and go on with the fiance instead. I am happy to report, they are now happy together, bought their own place and expecting their very first child. On top of that, we also suspected another very close friend of ours, went through a somewhat similar experience. This girl, S, had a difficult choice to make between two guys, both are (yes, past and present) madly in love with her. She decided with one, which is her present hubby now, but had a hard time letting go this other guy, who I suspect was very frustrated that she had chosen the other man instead.

After hearing these stories that evening, I started to think that my problem isn't half as big. But the thing is, I don't have the liberty to choose between two guys coz I only have one. These girls, no matter who they choose, will end up with a guy. It's only a matter of a better guy. I, on the other hand, is to marry this guy or not. My problem is actually him frictioning with me and now I discovered another one, hiding things behind my back, although he promised not to do so two years ago. (I suspect he forgot he made that promise because he just made it again... or he is just not the kind of man that honour the promises he makes... I hope it's the first one because if it's the second, I should not be marrying him in the first place!)

The problem started with him trying to save a damsel in distress, as always, being the honourable guy. Me, on the other hand, opposed that idea as I believe in hard work earned money. I understand his point of view but was nevertheless mad at HER, the damsel in distress. Although I was so mad at her for always asking money from us, I didn't want to directly shoot her so I only poured it out to my fiance instead. He then got mad at me for... erm, I am still not too sure why and stopped talking to me altogether. Apparently, he thinks I accused him of something? Something like that.

It's only when we are trying to sort things out, I truly found out (I suspected it long before already) he went to see somebody I don't quite particularly like (because she used to have like a big crush on him before and even after finding out this guy is dating someone else, she still is very mengade with him... geeshhhh... gedik) BEHIND MY BACK.

Oh My God! Two things in a row. Like seriously? We have less than 3 months before the wedding and I really hope nothing new would come up. This is just stressing me out. Maybe it's a good thing... Maybe it is a reminder for me to NOT love a guy with ALL MY HEART. A friend of mine warned me to keep a portion of my heart for myself but I told her I can't do that coz I have fallen 120% in love with my fiance. When all these things hitting me just 3 months before the wedding, I am starting to think, maybe, I should follow my friend's advice instead.

It's not too late for me to do that, right? The problem is, I'm sure when our problems are "solved" (at the time of writing, Mr Fiance still refuses to discuss the matter at hand, so they are currently being swept under the rug) or rightly forgotten, I WILL once again surrender all my heart into his hand and risking it being crushed again and again.

I hope I am not making the wrong decision here for staying in this half-transparent relationship. Oh Allah, Please help me coz only You know BEST!

Trial

I always thought we could weather through anything. Now I'm not so sure.

I guess the demons are working real hard now that the date is near to ensure they do not lost their most profitable clients on earth.

June update

Hi! Hi! What's new with everyone? I havent had the time to read all your blogs. All I can do at the moment, in the middle of my hectic life, are calling/meeting some of you once in a while and sourcing stories about you guys from other ppl.

And what's new with me? I passed all my 4 papers for my PKMC exam. Not with distinction but I am very thankful with the result already. Was super worried especially for my 2nd module but Alhamdullilah, He let me passed. Sadly, no increment as expected so I have to make do with this tiny pay for now.

Wedding preparation... well, is a bit slow... as usual. We took the forms from Jabatan Agama in KL & Seremban respectively but it's still too early to submit them now. I took my HIV test. Hazmi hasn't. We ordered our cards but haven't send in a few items they needed. Theme and costume... not finalised... Door gift... have not decided on that either. Oh my! So little time, So much to do.

Hazmi farm is still running in good shape. I am there almost every weekend but this week Hazmi asked me to rest and wait for him came over instead, which was why I had some extra time to update this blog. We watched Transformer 2: The Revenge of the Fallen yesterday and it was awesome. Bumped into Baby D just before the show, which was cool coz the air fight and all reminded me of her.

Oh, I'm 25 now!!! And thanks to EVERYONE who celebrated my birthday and also those who wished me from near and far. Love you guys... Muacks.

My 2nd trip to the MAS Cargo

Hi All!!! My exam is finally over and the result would only be out next month. In the meantime, I would definitely like to enjoy myself and spend more time with my soon-to-be hubby at the farm and of course, my mom. So I decided to spend my weekend with both of them i.e. Saturday with him and Sunday with mummy. I'm so lazy to type about everything that happened so to cut it short, I went to Mas Cargo again last Saturday to accompany hubby picking up the new batch of feral. Oh my, he just looks so hot while working... *drools*

Here's the new batch of feral, the wilder type of goat. They are bigger and stronger (compared to... say... local goats and even lambs, which are also available for sale). Better catch them quick coz they sold out fast. For more info, log on to their website exq-farm.blogspot.com or just click at the link at the side of this blog. Else, call me to get his number directly. (Only for customers okay. Admirers and stalkers are not entertained) LOL.

Engagement, Confirmation and PKMC exam!!!

Normally, after a long break from updating the blog, I would only write in when Irna bugs me to. Quite surprised she hasn't been bugging me already. I'm guessing she's either too busy with her life at the moment or she just couldn't be bothered anymore. Anyway, what's (not so) new with me?
1) I'm engaged to my beloved Hazmi on 7th February ^_^
2) I'm confirmed in CIMB (at long last... that took forever!!!)
3) And I am currently sitting for my PKMC exam. =_=
For those who has been wondering how I did in my CFA last December, as expected, I failed. As historical as it is, being the first me failing a major exam, I wasn't actually expecting a pass as I hardly even completed the syllabus, let alone practised answering the questions. Although it is very frustating since it was very costly, I had signed up to sit for it again this December. Wanted to push doing it in June but I just need some space to breathe. With the wedding coming in October, I just can't take in another major event in my life. Sometimes I think there's just so many things to do, catch up with and chase in this phase of life that I just feel like dropping it off altogether but come to think about it again, I thought I shouldn't give up so easily without a good fight. Hope the money spend on the exam would be worth it this time. Alrightey then. Time to start studying and start the countdownS.

A state of happiness

I don't want to talk about this coz this is very personal but I want to pen this down somewhere as a record, as a memory... so here I am writing in my "diary".

Dear Diary,

At this point of time in my life, I am feeling so damn happy and lucky to be dating this ReALLy rEallY GREAT guy. And God's willing, we are soon gonna be engaged and hopefully making it official on paper to build our life together by the end of next year. I am SoOoO happy and EsTaTiC that he has been SO SO SWEET lately, that sometimes it makes me feel guilty thinking that I might probably not making him feel the same way. Sometimes I am also scared that I might screw this up because to me, now, this is just perfect. I don't want to spoil this in any way, like what happened to some of my friends, intentionally and especially accidentally. I am confident that I would not intentionally hurt him in AnY way but I hope the latter won't Ev3R take place. Like any typical girl, I pray that he won't hurt me and break my heart as is typically seen in real lives and movies. But I also hope he is not reading this because I don't want him to be scared or knows that I am scared or thinks that I am so clingy and change his mind. (Though I think he would one day come across this and if he actually/when he eventually does, I hope this article wouldn't change a bit of what it is today). Of course, there will be some ups and downs, but I hope we will get through anything together and stay strong forever.

I just finished watching "Definitely, Maybe", a story about a father, who is heading for a divorce, relating his love stories to his young daughter. When he said "The happy ending is I have you", I started crying. (Yes, I am always a bit soapy when it comes to this). Then it got me thinking... I have been crying almost half of my childhood, wishing everything would be better one day and now... it is... FiNaLLy it is... and I really really hope it would last... FoREv3R. To you, Mohd Hazmi Abdul Halim, though I am wishing you would not find this, if you do, please remember that you are the love of my life, my very one and only. And I can only thank God for sending you right to me. I love you with all my heart! Thank you~

xoxo,

me

The end of 2008 ~The beginning of 2009

Hi peeps... It has been a while... *ehem* well, a looooonnngggg while since the last update. And I am writing this post now... as usual... to fulfill Miss Irna's request for me to update this long forgotten page. Lets see... where do I start?

2008 has been quite a productive year to most ppl ard me. Hmm, what happened to me? Err, nothing much actually. I changed department from Treasury - Debt Capital Market and Syndication to Treasury - Global Sales and Group Funding. It was a great experience "training" under the syndicate team but I am also enjoying my time here at GSGF. Apart from the normal day-to-day work, we have to also entertain clients with events like bowling, movie trips and year-end party (where we got to dance) so it is still quite fun. However, I am still a trainee and hoping to get confirmed by early next year. On a more personal note, I went to Redang with my beloved last October (alongside Ms Irna, Ms Aiya and Mr Aiya), sat for my CFA exam which was quite disastrous and... have been trying to lose weight unsuccessfully. So my new year's resolution would be... (well, not so new year as it has to start now...) losing 6kgs by the end of January!!! So wish me luck.

As for ppl ard me (as you could probably guess), being in the prime age of settling down, there have been a few waves of engagement and marriage ceremonies all ard... not to mention babies. Trying to fit everything in my very tight schedule, I would try my very best to attend the ceremonies at least to those closest to me. I am so sorry to those ppl whose ceremony I failed to attend. It does not mean you are not important to me... it just mean I am not a witch to be at more than one place at the same time (although I would be very much delighted to have that power *wink*). Expecting a few more waves next year, early first half and mid-year, so keep the invitations coming ppl ^_^

And lastly, update on my sweetest man's progress... His farm is now up and running... with 60 hopefully fertile females, 2 very healthy males and 2 cute baby goats. It is just so amazing... From a forest land, it is now a full-fledged, goat rearing farm. Occasionally, mostly on weekends, I would drive over and play with the goats... help to feed them but that's about it. I'm not that much of a help but nevertheless, I am currently moonlighting as a farmer... errr.. no.. a farmer's wife? Hahaha... Anyway, I can proudly say that I am such a lucky girl to have met and have him in my life.

Cheers.

From this

To this



And this!

Avril Rocks!

Attended Avril's concert at Stadium Merdeka yesterday and it was just superb. She's such a good singer and performer. Her dressing was simple, with just baby-tee and jeans but the concert rocks. Her live singing is awesome... not like some singers who have to lip-sync/mime to their own songs. She didn't blab much to the audience... only a simple line or two... saying that she's happy to be here (which I doubt, with all the last minute cancellation threat and the stupid so-called-protest which I think did not take place) and how's everyone's doing but nevertheless, she interacted well with us... Her expressions were just the cutest and she conquered the whole stage, just like any professional would. Apart from singing, she also played the guitar, piano and drum! Such a talented artist... Anyways, I was standing throughout the whole show (although I actually bought the free seating ticket) but it was all worth it. Was content with the not-so-expensive ticket I bought. It seems a bit packed in front, and I don't quite like packed places. Needless to say, the concert RoCkS! and my bf is such a dear throughout the whole show with me. ^_^ I'm simply happy.

I was on NST!

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Monday/National/2317677/Article/index_html

Banking on 'universal' exposure to build career

Farah is happy learning all she can as a management trainee at CIMB.

KUALA LUMPUR: Farah Haida was a first-year undergraduate when she attended a career talk by CIMB Group corporate resources head Hamidah Naziadin in Cambridge three years ago.
Two years later, as she approached graduation from the London School of Economics, she decided to check out the Careers Fair of the United Kingdom and Eire Council for Malaysian Students in London.

There, she once again came across representatives from CIMB -- one of the many companies wooing graduates such as herself.

Having done her research on CIMB after Hamidah's presentation, Farah decided to only pursue the interview offer from CIMB, despite having received offers from other companies at the exhibition.

Now 24, Farah is happy learning all she can as a management trainee at CIMB.
And so far, Farah has enjoyed every bit of the experience, which she describes as "enriching".

She has been posted to three departments -- corporate assurance, CIMB principal asset management and direct banking and cards -- since she joined the firm last August.

"So far, all the department heads have been very accommodating. They give me work which helps to build up my learning experience."

Although she likes what she's doing, Farah has set her sights on joining CIMB's treasury department.

Hamidah said that at CIMB, the strategy was to expose new recruits to as much of the business as possible, in line with its aim of training "universal bankers"."

They are not confined to a specific area of work, which means that they can experience the full depth and breadth of the business, an opportunity they may not have if they pursue their careers in a larger foreign bank."

Rueben Gan, a first-year philosophy and economics student at the London School of Economics, is coming back to intern for the summer holidays at a consultancy firm in Kuala Lumpur.

But, unlike Farah, he plans to stay on and work in London for a couple of years upon his graduation in June 2010.

Gan said a first-year internship in Malaysia would look good on his resume and it would help him with a second-year internship in London.

"It will give employers the impression that you have the initiative and drive to pick up some relevant and useful work experience in your free time, on top of the obvious credentials on the CV. It may also give you something to talk about in the interview room."

Gan, however, feels it is better for him to remain in Britain after his graduation to gain experience and exposure."

I also enjoy the lifestyle, the city and the diverse mix of people. It's nice to work in a vibrant and exciting environment when you are young."

Fat

Stop saying a girl look fat, chubby or has been putting on weight. You are only torturing the bf. ^_^ hihi

Life is short, Love is Forever

A couple of weeks ago, I rushed back to Perlis after receiving a call from my cousin. Her husband, in his late twenties, passed away from a car accident. She... is 4 months pregnant with their first child. In my opinion, she was surprisingly strong. I, without doubt, would not be able to pull that kind of strength to face that situation. Several times, I tried to imagine me being in her shoes, I just end up in tears. Through out my few hours visit, she calmly told me what happened, answered questions and accompanied me to the husband's fresh grave. I, on the other hand, could not think of a word that is powerful enough to comfort her or tell her that everything is going to be okay. All I could do was give her a hug and tell her to take care.

On another chapter, today is the third day Hazmi has been away from Malaysia. He went to Bangkok to celebrate his graduation with his ex-housemates. Given the super expensive rate to call home, I am "barred" from calling him (or rather "barred" from disturbing his happy moments with his friends). Of course, I am not trying to hi-jack his happiness. In fact, I wish him all the joy in the world. Plus, it is not like I would die from not talking to him. Or would I? No... I am still alive but I feel like all my life has been sucked out of my face. Life is just dull without him in it. If I were to be the one there, I would definitely swallowed the cost to just hear his voice for a minute everyday. I am SUPER addicted to him. The fact is, it is him there now. I can't just call him anytime I like. That would just ruin his super fun trip. I want to let him go and have fun but i miss him so much. Why the hell I have to feel this way. Sob. Sob. I wish I'm not that dependant on him as I am now.

If I have all the time in the world

I would want to re-learn and master my game theory subject!

Friendship

It doesn't really matter how long you have known each other for. It could be 1 week, 2 months, 12 years... All that really matters is how much you care for each other and be there for you when you need them the most. I am blessed to be given such great friends around me. I love all of you. ^-^ xox