Monday Blues

I miss you already la, si kecik.

Back to work

Hey people. I am back at work now. Hello computer and internet connection. First day back, both baby and I were doing fine UNTIL I tried to call home during lunch time. Both Kak Ina and Abby were still asleep and out of the blue I just cried thinking of my baby. No, I was not worried. I just missed her so much! When Abby tweeted pic of my Tricia and Kak Ina called back to let me "talk" to her, it made me miss her ever more.

Came home from work on the second day, Tricia was still sleeping. Apparently she had been sleeping the whole day. Tried to wake her up but she just made so much noise that after we fed her, we let her sleep again. Came home from dinner around midnight and there she was, eyes wide open. Around 1.30am, I was already too tired to play with her so I asked hubby to take over. Apparently, he was just as tired so he passed the "baton" to abby, my beloved sis-in-law. When I woke up the next morning, I panicked when I saw Tricia's empty babycot. Found her sleeping in the guestroom with Abby. Tonight, no matter what time she sleeps, I will take care of her. I must.

Been reading an article on babycenter today and I would love to highlight some interesting quotes.

Big Story: How love blossoms between you and your child

1)Note: It's impossible to "spoil" a baby with love, attention, and affection, says Emma Adam, a developmental psychologist at Northwestern University. When you comfort your child, you're building a foundation of trust and affection that will last a lifetime. 

2) "It seems contradictory, but the more security you give your child, the more independent she can become," says Adam, the Northwestern University psychologist.

69 days

That number looks obscene. It probably is.

Guilt over not breastfeeding

When I was pregnant, I was very determined to fully breast-feed (bf) my baby once she's born. Sadly, it didn't materialize. She refused to latch on me, possibly because of the short nipple that I have. Tried my very best to not introduce formula milk to the baby in her early days. Forced her to bf on me and agreed to let her latch on my cousin's wife, her "ibu susu", but we didn't (and still don't) live nearby so we couldn't really rely on her.

The first few days, I only produced like 6 drops of colostrum from every pumping session. Only on day 5, a day after my massage session, that I finally started to produce milk. By then, she was already on formula. Since she still refused to latch, I pumped like mad, especially when we found out that she had jaundice. I either fed her EBM exclusively using a bottle or I mixed it in her formula milk. I felt like a milking cow. At week 1, Manoq suggested I get the nipple shield. It worked for awhile but with everything that was going on at that moment, I felt more comfortable pumping. It was a very very very stressful period and I cried like mad. Some people's comments just made me felt worse.

After nearly 2 weeks, I produced around 1 oz of milk from every pumping session. Joy. However, as the baby's need started to increase, my milk production stayed the same. At 3 weeks, it went to 3/4 oz and later it went to half. At 1 month,  I just stopped.

At week 7, I received my weekly email from baby center and it was very comforting to read this.

Your life: Guilt over not breastfeeding

Today's society puts a lot of pressure on new moms to breastfeed. No doubt breast milk is the perfect first food. However, there are many reasons why breastfeeding just doesn't work for some women and their babies, including illness, discomfort, and frustration. Guilt over not breastfeeding can hit especially hard if you had planned during pregnancy to do so but then circumstances made it impossible or more difficult than you'd expected. Both breast milk and commercial formula nourish growing babies. If you've given up on breastfeeding — or are thinking of doing so — be sure to discuss your choice with your doctor or a certified lactation consultant. Talk through your feelings and don't be too hard on yourself. The main thing to remember is that how you feed your baby is ultimately not as important as providing love and care.

Well, I did see a lactation consultant recently. Not for myself and my baby, but to accompany my sister-in-law (SIL) who is due soon. She couldn't bf her first baby so she wanted to seek more help for her second one. I am all excited to support her after what I had been through. After my SIL session, the lactation consultant had a look at my baby and found out that she has a tied tongue that made it difficult for her to latch on to me. So it was not just one factor but a few factors combined that made it so difficult for us. It's okay, sayang. Just know that I love you very very much no matter what. As for me, better luck next time. ^-^

Happy New Year! 2012 is here

I haven't been blogging for awhile. With no internet connection on a proper computer, it is quite difficult to do so.

So... 2011 left us already. I feel like my only achievement last year was to conceive and give birth to my child. No other significant achievement; no career advancement, didn't pass my CFA level 2 exam. Needless to say, I still need to be thankful. Not everyone is blessed with a child even if they really want to.

Let's talk about resolution now. I am bored with 'I want to study harder for my CFA' while 'I want to be a good mother' is actually given irregardless whether it is a new year or not. Initially settled to not have one until I went out with hubby on the new year. We went for drinks and live band at Concorde Hotel sans baby, who was left with my dearest mummy. That night, it crossed my mind. So I decided that my new year resolution this year is to start wearing make up and heels. Ahaqs. Happy new year, everyone!

Period post-pregnancy

A lot of things I didn't blog about post-pregnancy. Mainly because I didn't have internet connection and secondly because some things look a bit too personal to be posted online. Things that I should have so that I can later compare with my next pregnancy/child birth experience. I suddenly remembered one important detail that I need to jot down. My period. Since I couldn't directly breastfeed my baby, I pumped. Even then, my milk production stopped when Tricia was about 1 month old. I was supposed to go for my post-natal check up 6 weeks/42 days after I gave birth. However, I had to reschedule because I got my period a couple of days before that. If I'm not mistaken, at 40 days after pregnancy.

The other thing is darah nifas. I was able to mandi wajib and start praying before my period resumed. So that was around 35 days maybe? Not too sure about the exact date now but I remember it was quite early. Although some people didn't believe me when I said my nifas period was over and my period cycle resumed,  I believe it is what it is. Who is to say my nifas period was too short. I had asked around earlier and it varies from woman to woman and mine was within the normal range. I'm going to back-date this post if I can because today is 26th January 2013.

I'm officially a citizen!

A proud Malaysian! ^_^

Heart-breaker

At 9 days old, she already made 3 people cry, including me. Please don't grow up to be a heart-breaker, baby.

The Final Push

This is the final journey of my first pregnancy.

On 10th November, the day I was supposed to be admitted, I had some blood show in the morning. Although I was only supposed to "check-in" at 6pm, mummy insisted that I go the hospital asap as she said, that was a sign of my cervics dilating. From Nilai, hubby and I went back to Bangi for some last minute preparation. We took it easy. Had breakfast at pasar, went back to do laundry and packing, went to Manjaku to grab some stuff and only left Bangi around 12pm. Hubby refuses to go straight to the hospital as he said it's going to be boring to just wait around so we stopped at Sunway Pyramid first for lunch. We  went to Delicious, where I packed my pavlova and hubby bought starbucks coffee on the way out. By then, it was 3pm and I couldn't wait any longer.

Off we went to the hospital. I went to the labour room first but they were still preparing my room so I headed downstairs for my admission. It took quite awhile. We only went back up after 4pm. I was given room 12 but sadly mummy can't go in so she had to wait in the waiting room outside instead. After I changed into my hospital gown, the nurse came to check on me. I was 2.5cm dilated. Immediately, she strapped me on to the machines to monitor baby's heartbeat and my contractions.

At 5.25pm, I think I felt some minor contractions but it wasn't painful. Saw baby's heartbeat increased out of the ordinary once in awhile. I commented to hubby that baby was just as nervous as I was. Little did I know that the irregular heartbeat was the reason the Dr broke my water at 6.45pm when I was only 3cm dilated. I wanted to wait awhile since I really wanted the 11/11 date but the Dr had other worries. She checked my water and found it to be normal, no traces of green discharge of baby poo, which was a relief. Dr also gave me something to help me pass motion to clear my bowels by flushing some sort of water into my anus. Yucks. I had to rush to the toilet within 5 minutes.

Around 8.30pm, I could feel the pain getting more intense. Hubby wanted to comfort me by holding my hand but I was gripping the wood bed-handle so tight, I made him warm my legs instead. It felt so nice that I requested him to squeeze my feet with every contraction. Not long after, I called the nurse in to check on me. As much as I dreaded vaginal examination, I had to ask for it to know how many cm I had dilated that time. At 9pm, it was 6cm. At the rate I was going, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in until midnight. Dr came to check on me and offered gas or jab. Nurse offered me the gas but I refused to take it. Fearing the pain to come, I asked hubby for my notes. The jab, pethidine, will only take away 20% of the pain but will make you drowsy. Hmm, tough choice but fear got the better of me so I took the jab. Following which, 10pm onwards was a blur to me. I remember instructing hubby to hold my feet tighter and made buzzing sound when the contractions came. I remember asking for nurse to check on me again as I felt the urge to push. I remember I was told it was 8-9cm, which means I still should not push. I remember one of the nurses took out my urine using a cathether but because it was quite uncomfortable, also with the pain of contractions, they gave me gas. With that, I struggled less.
I remember Dr walked into my room at 11pm. I was thinking maybe I could still hold it in until midnight. I was still drifting in and out of consciousness that time. I remember the Dr refusing to give me more gas when she walked in. I remember the nurse reported to my Dr that my first push was no good, the second one was better although I don't quite remember pushing. I remember telling the Dr I needed to pass motion. I remember the Dr telling me that the feeling was the contraction that I need to start pushing. I DON'T remember that they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat halfway through the process. I DON'T remember that they had to stop the whole process to put the monitor on to find baby's heartbeat. I DIDN'T notice that the Dr was using vacuum down there and I DIDN'T feel her cutting me and put cotton inside of me to contain the bleeding. I do remember the Dr came to me, asking me to help her by pushing the baby out. She can't help me if I don't help her. "We don't want to go for C-Section kan Farah?". I remember shaking my head slowly. I remember my final 2 push. I was finally fully aware that time (although I was still closing my eyes) and that was when I actually applied the breathing techniques learned in my prenatal class. With my final push, my baby Batrisyia Hana was born with the help of vacuum. It was 10th November 2011, at 11.32am.
I may not remember everything that happened that night clearly, but I do remember the look of my baby's face looking intently at me when they put her on my body. The feeling was priceless.

My Surprise 2-Tiered Baby Shower

Last Friday, I was supposed to attend my last antenatal class. Hubby, however, was a bit reluctant to attend. I only wanted to since I already paid for the whole program but I didn't mind skipping it because I only signed up for the program to attend the 3rd class, which was focused more on the delivery day itself. Initially, I was still thinking on whether to go to the class but hubby asked me out on a date night, instead of attending the boring talk on how to take care of the mother and baby after delivery =p. I was excited to go out on a date night with hubby so I gave in.
He wanted to go to The Curve, where we could have dinner and watch movie so I made a booking to watch Bini2ku Gangster at cineleisure at 10pm. I would have preferred to BUY the tickets rather than just booking them but I couldn't do that at cineleisure. Had to collect the tickets by 9pm or the tickets would be sold off to public. We arrived at The Curve only around 9.15pm so safe to say the bookings were no longer available. I was a bit upset but whatever, as long as I get to spend the time with hubby. I was wondering where hubby would like to eat, suggested Marche, Bubba Gum Shrimp, Tony Romas but hubby just kept walking. Suddenly Hudam called me to apologise that she could not attend. I was like "Huh, I'm on a date night with hubby! I told you earlier". After I hang up, I was pouring my heart out to hubby that I suspected they were planning something behind my back and hudam got the details mixed-up bla bla bla... when I suddenly saw my girls sitting at The Garden restaurant with balloons and everything on the table. I immediately turned to hubby and hit him. He knew about the whole thing and didn't tell me! Well, where's the surprise in that if he did. =p
It was a wonderful occasion. I got the 2 presents that I really wanted. A pregnancy photoshoot and a pink MAM bottles gift set. Ngeee... ^_^ Happy! No wonder hubby had been preventing me from buying a photography package myself. He knew all along. The whole looperz crew were there, almost. Haslin, Irwan, Daanish, Acik and Fariq dropped by. Met Dr Hana too when I arrived. Thank you SoOoO Much girls... No worries to those who couldn't be there.


Why was the surprise baby shower 2-tiered? The next day, on a Saturday afternoon, Hanijoe and Cyantiah came over to my house to hang out and there was my second surprise. I got a new baby cot (installation included) hehe and nice colourful baby playgym and a hang-on-compartments to put my baby stuff. Hanijoe also brought chocolate rice crispies and Domino's. Irna joined us a bit later, exactly after the babycot was put together. Then we watched Bini2ku Gangster on AstroFirst. That night we wanted to go to Apis' shop at Dataran Nilai but due to the rain, we went to KLIAS instead. Burp~ Made a quick stop again at Dataran after dinner where I got myself a nice RM5 solitaire ring. Hehehe...

Anyway, BIG THANKS TO ALL MY GIRLS OUT THERE. You know who you are. Love lots!

Melaka (May) & Langkawi (June) trip

I have a lot of catching up to do with my vacation updates. Went to Melaka with hubby's MMU friends on labor day weekend, which was in May. I don't remember much about that vacation since it was quite some time ago =p but I do remember that 1) I was always hungry and I wasn't being fed frequently enough, being 3 months pregnant that time 2) Melaka's traffic jam on holidays was a nightmare 3) the vacation was quite a disaster.
Then I had my exam a day before my birthday in June, which I failed =p. Mid June hubby had to go to New Zealand for work for a couple of days so I scheduled my 2-day-Penang outstation trip that very same day AND subsequently followed mummy to Langkawi for her conference with my bro. Went for cable car ride, went to Underwater World where we saw adorable penguins and then chocolate shopping. Big thanks to Dila for lending us her car and Mak Njang and Pak Njang for being a wonderful host.

From 2nd level View from the cable car. The second level.

View of the sea

Telaga tujuh

As you can see, it was not an easy hike especially for a pregnant woman.

Underwater World, Langkawi

Penguins swimming. Weee...

Hidayah's blurR day

Yesterday, I went down to the surau and bumped into Hidayah. This is a very smart friend of mine... excelled in all her exams and passed both her CFA papers in one sitting respectively. As usual, we will talk about a few things like how the day has been or studies or work... This time round, we talked about fasting. The conversation goes more or less like below:

Her: So you managed to complete your puasa... minus the few days?
Me: Minus the few days? I completed the whole month! (Proudly)
Her: Ye la... The whole month minus the days you can't fast?
Me: Can't fast?
Her: You know, when you get your period?
Me: *mulut ternganga* I don't get my period! I'm pregnant!
Her: Eh, pregnant tak period eh?
Me: What the f*&%@^&??? That's how you know you are pregnant in the first place.
Her: Eh... I know that!!!
Me: Pfttttt....

Adeiii, Hidayah. She's a very smart girl AND she claims she took biology in school. Someone's brain must be very off this whole week. LOL.

Grammar

I know my English is only average. I try to write correctly every time but I always typed all my posts in a hurry so sometimes my grammar/spelling/etc tunggang langgang. Sometimes I forgot what I wanted to highlight in the post so I would go back and add it in. Everytime I want to write a new post, I would publish and republish it a few times until I am satisfied with it. But sometimes, when I have the time to read the post again and still find error in it, I would just edit it eventhough the post has probably been published for a few days. Now that I am not a student anymore, there's no one to comment on my writing. Like Bojol said, practice makes perfect but when you are practicing the wrong thing, it does not help you to get better. So to my readers out there, if you see some very obvious mistakes in my writing feel free to comment. I welcome it. =) Learning is a life-long process.

Happy 9th Anniversary!

Last 17 September was our 9th anniversary of being together. Since we didn't properly celebrate our birthdays this year, I wanted to make this one extra special. Problem was hubby was a bit too busy to be going away this time round. Given that constraint, I managed to book a room at Seri Pacific Hotel, KL thanks to a groupon deal. Near enough to be far away. =p
We started the day with our appointment for 3D 4D scan of the baby. Everything was good, baby was not yet engaged as expected, just needed to be extra sure as I was going to China the coming Monday. We then went to Nyah's open house, also to pick up halwa we ordered for Abby's engagement. After that, we had a short rest and some alone time in the hotel room before starting our journey to Seremban for Hazwan's open house and karaoke session cum Asri's and Echa's bachelor/bachelorrete celebration. Funny thing was when hubby walked into the hotel room, he suddenly shouted "Happy 3rd Anniversary!". Hmm. It was supposed to be our 9-year-anniversary of being together and next month we would be celebrating our 2nd year marriage anniversary. So where did that 3 year come from? LOL. He's always one year ahead of time. =p
Anyway, halfway through the karaoke session, around midnight... as usual, I got sleepy and slept leaning on hubby's shoulder so hubby excused ourselves before we made our way back to the hotel, with a pitstop in Nilai to drop off the halwa.
Sleep was comfortable. We had breakfast at the hotel before checking out and hubby was back to his busy schedule. I actually bought a groupon deal for hi-tea for 2 but the place was closed for renovation that weekend. Pfft. Well, it's fine actually since hubby's busy that day so I rescheduled it to today. I met my favourite ex-boss Liza there too. Hehe.

Baby Stuff

A couple of friends have been asking what do I want as the baby's present. At the time being, I don't have a clear idea yet of what we REALLY need. Of course, ikutkan hati semue nak beli but I don't want to clutter my room only to find out those things are not necessary. Plus that would be a waste of money. So maybe it's a good idea to list down what I already have and what else I need. Need to ensure I constantly update this post. Hehe. Anyway, I am not expecting it from you people. If I find a good deal first, I will just buy it. Normal gifts such as ang pow and new-born hampers like clothes and powders are also welcomed. Tak payah pening2 nak beli ape. Tak bagi ape pon takpe... But kalau sorg dah kasik, jangan berebut yer. Heh.

What I want/need:
1) Baby monitor (I have not surveyed which brand is the most reliable one, whichever you think is good.)

2) For later, baby carrier. This one looks affordable. - RM 174.90

3) Baby car seat
4) Stroller - Specs: Light (<6kg). Doesn't take that much space when folded. Flexible.
5) Set of cloth diapers - Little buddy - Experience Bamboo CD or Explore CD Preliminary Package - RM148

6) Nursing pillow - Booked by Asri and Echa

What I already have:
1) Pump (I will not explain this further here =p) - Thank you, mummy.
2) Bottle warmer - Thank you, mummy.
3) Bottle sterilizer - Thank you, mummy.
4) Baby cot/play area - Thank you, Hanijoe and Cyan for playgym, hang on compartments and our 2nd set baby cot

5) Mam Gift Set For Newborn and pregnancy studio photoshoot from ilovediscounts ^_^ < 3 - Thank you, looperz!

MAHA NS 2011

Hari Peladang, Penternak dan Nelayan Peringkat Negeri Sembilan
On the 23rd of July this year, I was a proud wife. Hubby was acknowledged as Usahawan Penternak Ruminen Jaya and awarded a cheque of RM1,500.

The day started with me rushing back to Bangi from KL, then Uda Zazli picked me up from Bangi and sent me to Paroi for the ceremony. Lucky I made it on time! Abah, Mama and Abby were already there when I arrived. Abg Mi joined shortly after. Here are some pictures from the event. Didn't get to snap a picture with Abah & Mama as they were rushing somewhere.

@Flyfm958 #Tweetdrive

This morning on the way to work, I made a pit stop at Shell station to buy a loaf of bread and kaya. Across the road, I saw a makcik selling breakfast. Not wanting to have nasi lemak today, I bought bihun and telur goreng instead. Then I made my way to office. Just before I turned off my engine, the Flyfm Pagi Rock Crew announced that #tweetdrive just reached its mark so what we have to do is to post a pic of telur goreng on twitter to win RM300. Well, I never won anything from this kind of contest but it doesn't cost me a thing to tweet a pic of telur goreng. All I had to do was take a picture and tweet @Flyfm958 #tweetdrive. Then I waited for a DM to see IF I actually won. I was putting a teeny tiny hope though I knew my chances were slim... but after a few minutes, I received the DM. Woohoo!!! Here's my winning pic. Haha.

Selamat Hari Raya!

Raya Rimba
Selamat Hari Raya! Maaf Zahir dan Batin from both of us.

Our third family member joining us next year ;)

I fell down!!!

I had a real scare yesterday! Took my shower in the afternoon after I had done my laundry and dishes in the morning. With all that shampoo and shower foam, I slipped and fell down in my own bathroom! IT WAS DAMN SCARY I tell you... being 7 months pregnant and falling down like that. Lucky I was still thinking. I concentrated hard to NOT fall flat on my bottom. Instead I broke the fall using my left hand and made a soft landing with my legs and on my buttocks. Thank God it was not that bad. Only my left wrist hurts and somewhere down my left rib feels a bit sore as it hit hard against my left hand. I was so so so worried about the little one inside of me. Called hubby's primary school friend who is a practising Doctor, aspiring to become an Obgyn, for consult. She said as long as there is no bleeding, baby is still kicking and my belly is not hardening more than usual, I should be fine. No need to go for a check up. Anyway, my next check-up is due tomorrow so I'll just wait to see my Dr then. I'm sure she'll give me a piece of her mind tomorrow. =_= Dunno whether she will still clear my trip to China mid this month.
Anyway, read this on babycenter.com and felt much better.
Is it normal to feel clumsy during pregnancy?
Yes. Many women feel ungainly when they're pregnant, particularly in their last few months. Clumsiness comes as no surprise when you consider what your body's going through: You're carrying more weight, your center of gravity has shifted with your growing uterus, and hormonal changes can cause your joints to loosen, including those in your fingers and toes. You'll get your balance and dexterity back after you give birth.
When should I call my healthcare provider?
...
Also, a shifting center of gravity means you're more likely to trip and fall, which can be scary when you're pregnant. If you do take a tumble or bang your abdomen, your baby will most likely be perfectly fine. But give your healthcare provider a call right away, just in case. You may need to come in and get checked out.
Btw, today is only the fourth day of Raya and 2 days after our National day. So Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin to everyone out there and Selamat Hari Merdeka, Malaysians! Loves~

Ramadhan Activities

First day of Ramadhan I managed to go home and berbuka with hubby. He went to bazaar Ramadhan first and bought food for both of us and I drove straight home, just in time for berbuka. Second day hubby was busy so I went for berbuka with my mom and Bojol at Haslam. Third day I went to service my car in the morning and both hubby and I went for baby's 3D scan in the afternoon. We went to Seremban later with Zairie and broke our fast there. Fourth day went back to Bangi, only to be caught in jam as it was raining (and there was a lorry with hazard light on in the middle of the road just before Nirvana) so I had to break fast in the car and only managed to reach home around 8. My dearest hubby was loyally waiting for me to eat together. I was touched. The next day, as I regretted my decision to brave through the traffic the day before, I decided to break fast with my bestie, Nadia at Marche, The Curve. She was actually craving for meatballs from Ikea but I was craving for Marche's Rosti and since I am pregnant, she gave me priority. Hehe. We practically just shared all the food we ordered. Rosti with cheese, 2 buns, 1 small mushroom soup and one drink each.

Rosti with cheese

After prayers, we went for dessert at Paddington House of Pancakes. 3 layers of oreo pancake with strawberry and marshmellow. ^_^

I went back to KL that night. Hubby came back to me later as he didn't want me to drive home alone so late. We were supposed to attend a property investment talk organised by CIMB Propertymart the next morning but both were not in the mood so we just slept in and went to watch movie at GSC Mid Valley later. As there was no suitable screening time, we went to watch Captain America Gold Class!!! Freaking RM100 for 2 tickets. =p Yes, hubby likes to splurge like that once in awhile. Haha. Didn't take any nice shots as I didn't want to appear too Jakun. =p Plus can't take pictures inside the cinema as it was already dark. The seat was large and comfy. There was a small table in between us to put our food with a little button to call for service but too bad it was fasting month so we can't order any. We even get a blanket each. I overheard a mat saleh asking for extra blanket and he was making so much noise when he was charged RM5 for it. Satu dah cukup dah... Yang ngade2 nak order extra tu apa pasai?


We were supposed to break fast in KL with the extended family that day but hubby couldn't resist his mom's nasi lemak and ikan bakar so we went back to Nilai instead. Came back down to KL and brought mummy out for pancake. This time I used the 2 coupons I bought from Mydeal.com.my. RM8 for one pancake and iced lemon tea each. Yummy.