I started introducing formula milk to Haziqa a week to 3 months old. Reason being, I didn't make enough stock during my maternity leave. What little stock I kept frozen during my leave, I didn't dare give it to my baby. To me it smelled bad... like rotten fish. I threw most of them away. When I told my colleagues about it during pumping session at work, they scolded me because apparently, the milk was supposed to smell like that. Eww, how would I know. And no one in the family had frozen milk that long before so I didn't have any reference at home. I had been bugging my bff Haslin and SIL Abby a lot on the tiniest issues on breast-feeding and I didn't want to disturb them any further so I just couldn't be bothered to stress myself out about it anymore.
Don't get me wrong. I am super thankful for the fully breast-feeding journey for nearly 3 months... It was all I wanted since I couldn't do the same for Tricia. But I was ready to introduce formula to Haziqa. Initially I felt a tiny bit of guilt but then I looked at Tricia and a bigger guilt surfaced so I said to myself, formula milk is not that bad. Yes, mother's milk is the best but Tricia grew up with formula milk and grew up fine. Heck, I was fed formula milk and I grew up fine. Was only worried Haziqa wouldn't want my milk after she started tasting formula milk though but Alhamdulillah, she didn't have a problem with us switching between the two.
At work, each floor is provided with a nursery room for nursing mothers to pump. How convenient! I love my company for providing this facility for us. I tried to pump as frequent as I could. 3 - 4 times a day without fail. 9am-12pm-3pm-6pm. However, pumping doesn't produce as much milk as I hoped. Whatever I brought back was not enough to feed Haziqa for the next day so the maid usually had to top up one or two times formula milk a day.
Worried my milk would become less and eventually stopped too soon, I took a supplement I found online. It's some kind of capsuled oil contained what was supposed to be HabbatusSauda. Quite scared to take it as it has no certification from Malaysia's government. It is an Indonesian product but it says 100% natural. Had to just rely on that fact for assurance. I actually tried it a week before I started working and surprise surprise, it actually work. Not to my benefit that time though. I didn't pump in the wee hours of the morning as I was too lazy, as usual, and my left breast started to get engorged. I even had fever with it i.e. mastitis. Pumping and feeding was painful and my mom feared that there would be infection asked me to stop breastfeeding, fearing it would affect my baby. I then asked around and the advises I received were complete opposite. They say I need to continue breastfeeding to drain the supposedly blocked milk duct. Confused, I went online and read on babycentre that I should not stop breastfeeding and I happily obliged. =D
Stopped talking the pill until a week after I started working when Ramadhan started. Nursing mothers are allowed to not fast if they fear it would affect their milk supply. I initially thought it won't be applicable to me anymore since I introduced formula milk already... it was not like I was fully breastfeeding. My baby won't go hungry just because I didn't produce enough milk. I had no reason to not fast, or so I thought. Just 4 days into Ramadhan, I didn't wake up for sahur. My supply during fasting was already lesser than normal days if I didn't take the supplement and not eating sahur would make it worse, right? So I freaked out and not fast that day. Missed another day a few days after. What I was scared of was not just the stock for the next day but in the longer run... I am worried that my milk would dry up too soon, before I am ready to wean off completely. So there goes my 2 days of Ramadhan fasting. I felt like an immature kid making that decision but I cherish bf-ing so much that I would not want to risk it. As the month progresses, I am better at it now. Managed to fast a day without waking up for Sahur and for the rest of the days, I have been waking up for sahur with the help of Abby and my hubby of course.
Currently, my production is about 1oz every hour and I hope to bring back AT LEAST 12oz home everyday. It is not enough but that is the best so far. Hope my supply will increase a little after fasting month, with the help of the supplement, insyaAllah. I still try to pump as frequent as possible at work as I am still hoping Haziqa would only need minimal formula milk, if at all.
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